What do you call when you and your co-workers deal with a micromanager? How would you describe someone who’s utterly selfish? If you answered trauma bonding and narcissistic, you may be unconsciously practicing therapy speak. Such words have permeated today’s culture, and more and more people are self-diagnosing with mental health disorders. Some may even flaunt that they have OCD, ADHD and depression without consulting a mental health professional.

This rising awareness is a win for overcoming the stigma of mental illness. However, throwing these words around — often without proper knowledge — might dilute their true meanings.

What Is Therapy Speak?

Therapy speak is when you inject psychological phrases into your everyday conversations. Since mental health topics have become more popular than ever, you’ll often hear or use terms like “trauma dumping” or “gaslighting” when talking about your personal experiences. However, such terminologies can make conversations sound distant and clinical. Here are some therapy speak examples:

• A co-worker gives you unexpected feedback in a meeting: “I feel really triggered by that comment and need to process my emotions.”
• Your friend exhibits selfish behavior: “He’s such a narcissist.”
• When your partner brings up something from the past: “You’re gaslighting me by making me question my memory of what happened.”

Why The Sudden Increase in Therapy Speak?

According to mental health professional Dr. Taisha Caldwell-Harvey, more and more people are using psychological terms because social media can spread information so fast. She believes that there’s some good to it, as it can empower someone to seek support. However, misusing these words can also spread misinformation and make it harder for people with diagnosed mental health issues to be seen and supported.

For example, if someone says they’re “depressed” when they’re just sad at the moment, it can create confusion. This may create a false representation of real clinical depression, making it harder for those diagnosed to be understood and for the public to recognize the seriousness of certain conditions.

7 Therapy Speak Examples People Use in Everyday Conversations

Here are some common words you may come across on a daily basis. 

1. Narcissism

How many times have you heard someone called a narcissistic person because they’re selfish? The truth is, narcissistic personality disorder is a serious mental health condition characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance that requires a psychiatrist or psychologist’s diagnosis.

2. Gaslighting

Gaslighting is a type of emotional manipulation where a person intentionally does or says things to make you question your own reality. It often happens in abusive intimate relationships, but more and more people have been using the term as a facade to keep themselves from taking responsibility for their actions.

3. Trigger

Many people claim they’re “triggered” after experiencing an uncomfortable situation. However, it can be weaponized as a tool to avoid communication and confronting difficult emotions. This is a term often associated with people with a history of trauma or abuse. Triggers refer to stimuli that bring up unwanted memories of past experiences.

4. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

Not everyone who loves keeping things in order has OCD. It somehow diminishes the more serious symptoms of clinically diagnosed OCD. Misusing the term can lead to misinformation or the normalization of behaviors that actually need help.

5. Boundaries

If you’ve been to therapy, you may have been advised to set boundaries. This is often said to those with anxiety, paranoia or people-pleasing tendencies. Setting boundaries means saying “no” to things you don’t want or communicating your needs. There are various classifications of boundaries, and they can be flexible or rigid. The misuse of the word can be weaponized as a way to manipulate others.

6. Trauma Bond

A friend may casually say they have a trauma bond with a partner just because they’ve been through tough times together or have a dramatic relationship. It can also be used to describe an instance where you and your co-workers bonded together over a tyrannical manager. This somehow downplays the seriousness of a real trauma bond, which is a term used in psychology to describe an unhealthy relationship.

7. Trauma Dumping

Trauma dumping is when someone shares personal, vulnerable moments with another person without their consent, which can feel overwhelming to the receiver. However, many people tend to misuse it to describe an emotional conversation where both parties are willing to open up and listen to each other.

Other Dangers of Irresponsible Usage of Therapy Terms

Using psychological terms in everyday conversations can be detrimental to intimate relationships and society.

Manipulation

Someone might say, “I’m setting a boundary,” when they mean they refuse to communicate openly or take responsibility for their actions. Additionally, calling someone a “gaslighter” without understanding its true meaning can damage relationships.

Lost Nuance

Therapy is a highly nuanced and relational conversation between the therapist and the client, different from what you see on Instagram or TikTok. 

Too Much Focus on Self

Therapy talk is centered around oneself. It emphasizes personal needs above all else. While that is OK, it shouldn’t come as a blatant disrespect to the feelings of other people. Trends around “protecting your peace” and “ghosting” sound empowering but can contribute to loneliness.

How to Use Therapy Terms the Right Way

Now that you know the dangers of therapy talk, it’s time to explore ways on how to approach it more mindfully.

1. Explain What You Mean

It’s always best to use clear, honest language and to check in with others about how your words are affecting them. Instead of saying, “You’re gaslighting me,” say something like, “I feel like you’re making me doubt what I remember.”

2. Avoid Self-Diagnosing

Stories you see online may resonate with you, but they’re not the same as professional advice. Just because you can resonate with someone with ADHD or OCD doesn’t automatically mean you have it. It’s best to consult a therapist for a proper diagnosis.

3. Be More Mindful of What You Consume Online

Relatable doesn’t always mean reliable. Research found that more than half of trending TikTok videos about mental health contain misinformation. Many videos also offer general advice that may not be universally applicable, so take everything with a grain of salt.

4. Practice Social Media Detox

Pause if your feed starts to feel heavy. Take a step back from your screen if your feed starts to feel heavy. Mental health content should be helpful, educational and insightful, not making you feel drained.

Think Before You Speak

Therapy talk is a double-edged sword. It can help destigmatize mental health problems, yet downplay their seriousness. Choose to promote the former to create a space where people feel safe and comfortable with one another.