It’s official: You’re newly engaged and preparing for the big day. But what’s this about pre-marriage counseling everyone is talking about? You might have even heard it’s an essential step to getting married. What is premarital counseling, and what do you talk about in these sessions? Do you need to go to couples therapy before getting married? We’re here to answer your questions. In this article, you’ll learn what pre-marriage counseling is and what you’ll talk about during a session, plus some of its unique advantages for new and established couples. What Is Pre-Marriage Counseling? Premarital counseling is a type of couples therapy that occurs before marriage. Usually, couples visit with a counselor five to 10 times once per week before the big day. However, it’s up to you how long you’d like to partake in premarital counseling sessions! The primary goal of pre-marriage counseling is to prepare couples for marriage, including addressing the challenges they might face. Other key goals of pre-marriage counseling include helping you and your partner: Develop a deeper understanding of one another.Learn healthy ways of communicating and resolving conflicts.Create a plan for your future as a married couple.Address any worries, fears or questions about marriage. What Topics Will You Discuss in Premarital Counseling? You might have already imagined what your marriage will look like. But rather than assuming what your partner thinks, feels or desires, it’s best to get it all out on the table. The earlier you can discuss marriage-critical topics, the better! Why? Addressing your stance on essential issues helps you prepare for, address and resolve potential differences or disagreements. Common pre-marriage counseling topics include: Religious beliefsValuesMoneyExpectationsFamily relationshipsChildrenSex and intimacyCareers However, like with any type of counseling, you and your partner are free to talk about whatever you want — or don’t want — with your marriage counselor! Just remember that asking as many questions and addressing as many topics as possible before getting married is best. You’ll want to know where your partner stands on the big issues. For example, you don’t want to find out your partner isn’t willing to move to the East Coast when you get that job you’ve always wanted. Preparing for marital challenges like these in pre-marriage counseling will give you and your future spouse the tools and skills necessary to navigate life’s unexpected problems or opportunities. What Can I Expect From a Premarital Counseling Session? Though your experience will depend on your counselor or therapist, you might anticipate the following: An initial assessment: Your therapist might have you fill out a questionnaire to get to know you as individuals and learn more about your expectations for marriage.A “get to know you” session: The initial visit will likely be a “get to know you” session, where your counselor will take the time to get familiar with you as individuals and as a couple.Discussion of important issues: After the first two steps, you’ll discuss the essential issues outlined above so you and your partner can get to know one another better and develop new communication and conflict resolution skills. The Benefits of Couples Counseling Before Marriage For couples interested in deepening and strengthening their bond, pre-marriage counseling is an excellent way to prepare for marriage. Couples who share similar values — or are committed to compromise and conflict resolution — and know how to communicate constructively will better grapple with challenges. Some specific benefits of premarital counseling include: Better communication, conflict resolution and decision-making skills.A deeper understanding of your partner’s thoughts, feelings and desires.Intimate knowledge of your and your partner’s marriage expectations. Choose Couples Counseling to Improve Your Partnership Is premarital counseling the next step for you and your fiancé? Whether your relationship is brand new or you’ve been in a committed partnership for years, there’s always something new to learn about the person you love in couples therapy. Overall, premarital counseling is an excellent way to deepen your relationship, develop healthy communication habits and establish a firm foundation to build upon as your relationship grows.
Has the novelty of marriage faded for you or your spouse? Whether you’ve just passed the honeymoon phase or been married for several years, there’s bound to be a moment when you no longer experience that exciting spark you felt while dating. At times, you might even feel more like roommates than spouses. All marriages go through seasons, with some being more exciting than others. Lulls in emotional and physical intimacy and romantic feelings for each other are more normal than you might think. If you’ve wondered how to revive the spark in your marriage, this article will give you three ways to rekindle love, passion and intimacy. 1. How Can You Discover Your Love Languages? You might have heard of the five love languages: words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service and receiving gifts. A love language is how one gives and receives love. You and your partner might hold one or more of these love languages. Let’s say you and your spouse have different love languages. If that’s the case, you might have felt the effects, as it can lead to feelings of emotional unfulfillment and even resentment. For example, if you give and receive love with gifts, you might go all out for birthdays and Christmases. But if this isn’t how your partner receives love, they might not recognize it as an expression of your affection but as something else — like a love for shopping. Therefore, it’s important to know each other’s love languages. Knowing how you and your spouse receive love will help you understand each other better and express love in a way that’s understood. 2. How Can You Schedule Quality Time Together? Quality time might be neither of your love languages, but it is still important to prioritize spending time together — just the two of you. After all, you married your spouse for a reason — you love them and enjoy their company. Catching up and checking in with your spouse is vital for fostering emotional intimacy and to rekindle love for one another. To prioritize quality time together, many couples like to have date nights once per week where they dress up in their Saturday-night best and go out like old times. If once per week is too much for your crazy schedule, try once per month. And remember — you don’t have to spend money or go out for date nights if you don’t want to. For example, if you and your spouse love wine and rom-com movies, cuddle up on the couch together with a bottle of red. Or, maybe you love board games and played Life all the time when you were dating. Find affordable activities you both enjoy, and schedule your dates on a shared calendar, committing to them like an appointment. 3. How Can You Prioritize Physical Intimacy With One Another? Physical touch releases oxytocin, helping you bond with your partner on a deeper level. Physical intimacy can take many forms, including holding hands, cuddling, kissing or having more sex — or all of the above. You don’t need to make grand gestures, either — a simple peck on the cheek as a thank you for making dinner could suffice. So, the next time you and your spouse are on a date, slip your hand through theirs as you walk down the street. Or, kiss them when you get home from work. Hug them daily. Give them an impromptu back or shoulder massage — especially if their love language is physical touch. Small touches here and there will go a long way. Ultimately, though, do what works best for your relationship. Don’t feel the need to force physical intimacy. As time goes on, these little touches will start feeling more natural and help rekindle that familiar spark. How Can You Revive Your Affection Through Various Acts of Love? Remember, it might not always feel like you and your partner are head over heels in love — and that’s okay. Dips in emotional and physical intimacy are normal. But, hopefully, implementing these tactics helps you rekindle love, ignite that old flame and remind you of why you fell for one another.
Are you interested in marriage counseling? There are many reasons why people opt to see a marriage counselor, whether they’d like to prepare for marriage or they want to learn how to communicate with one another better. Either way, not all marriage counselors have the experience or expertise you might need, so it’s important to find the right licensed therapist for your relationship’s needs. But how does one choose a good marriage counselor? What do you look for in a marriage counselor, and where do you begin? Keep reading to learn our top tips for finding a qualified marriage counselor who suits your marriage’s needs. 1. Look for Licensed Marriage and Family Therapists or Qualified Family Marriage Counselors Above all else, you’ll want to find a qualified marriage therapist. To do this, look for a licensed marriage and family therapist (LMFT). LMFTs who have undergone a Commission on Accreditation for Marriage and Family Therapy Education (COAMFTE)-accredited MFT graduate program have a degree in marriage and family counseling. MFTs also acquire hundreds of supervised hours counseling married couples and families before they graduate. After graduation, MFT graduates must accrue thousands of clinical hours under the supervision of an experienced LMFT before they can qualify for licensure. You and your spouse or family members can rest assured you’ll be in qualified hands with an LMFT. Even if your preferred counselor isn’t an LMFT, that’s okay — just be sure to double-check their credentials, experience level and areas of expertise to ascertain whether they’re a good fit. 2. Double-Check That the Therapist Will Prioritize Your Marriage’s Health and Success Next to finding a qualified therapist, you’ll want to determine whether the therapist will prioritize your marriage’s health and success — especially if saving a struggling marriage is the primary reason you’re seeking counseling. Some therapists prioritize the pursuit of personal growth. And while that’s excellent on its own, it might not work in your marriage’s favor if your partner feels unhappy and is not as enthusiastic about saving the union as you. However, other therapists will encourage couples to seek happiness within the marriage and encourage commitment as long as there are no dangerous or abusive patterns harming each partner's health. To gauge whether a therapist is a good fit, be sure to ask them what couples therapy style they use and whether they’ll prioritize individual growth or marital success. 3. Choose a Therapist With the Qualities You Are Looking for in a Professional Counselor Google is great for finding pizza places near you, but not so when discovering a qualified therapist good for you and your partner. Avoid hiring a therapist just because they have a professional-looking website and a doctorate in psychology or provide evening and weekend appointments. The above qualities are good, but they alone shouldn’t persuade you that the counselor is the right match. Though it can be time-consuming to find and vet therapists, it’s worth it, as the right therapist will: Put you and your partner at ease. Show compassion and avoid “taking sides.” Be available to chat by phone, text, email or video call. Have experience in the issues you are facing. Charge an affordable fee. Share your religious beliefs. Offer individual counseling. Be licensed and experienced. Within the list above, choose the most important qualities to you and your partner. Jot these down and use them to ask the right questions when screening potential therapists. Use These Tips to Find a Suitable Marriage Counselor To recap, here are some questions you should ask any candidate marriage counselor: What are your credentials? How long have you been in practice? At what point do you believe divorce is necessary? Do you share our religious beliefs? Do you also provide individual counseling? Remember, finding your perfect therapist match might take some time. However, choosing the right counselor is crucial for several reasons — the most important being your marriage’s health and success. Ultimately, you’ll be glad you took extra time to find the right therapist for your needs as a couple.
When you first meet someone new, getting to know them preoccupies a lot of your time. However, relationships that have lasted a while can become stale. You could start feeling more like your partner’s roommate than lover. Fortunately, a little effort can restore the passion in your union. Here are seven ways to increase intimacy in your relationship. 1. Ask 36 Questions Can asking the right questions help you fall more deeply in love with your partner? According to Mandy Len Cantron’s modern love life essay, asking your partner a series of 36 ever more probing questions creates the kind of mutual vulnerability that fosters intimacy. The questions start somewhat innocuously. For example, one asks your partner to describe their ideal day. You should take notes — your beloved is offering you valuable clues about how to make them feel cherished and special. You’ll have a much easier time when their birthday or your anniversary arrives. Later, you move on to deeper core value questions, such as what you would most regret not telling someone if you were to die today. Choose a time when you won’t be interrupted and are in at least a semi-private space, like a cozy corner of your favorite coffee shop, and have a long, intimate conversation. Alternatively, ask a question or two once or twice a week to reconnect and see how you’ve changed and grown. 2. Go on an Adventure Together Researchers studying what creates a romantic spark had people walk across two bridges to reach an individual of opposite sex. Those who traversed a heart stopping rope bridge suspended 200 feet over a gorge rated the individual as more attractive than those who took a leisurely stroll across a lower span. The adrenaline rush increased the feelings of attraction. Why not pack up the car and hit the road for an impromptu getaway? Alternatively, consider doing something that gets your heart pumping on your next date night, like going indoor rock climbing. 3. Make a Plan Working toward a future goal can increase intimacy with your partner. When was the last time you discussed what you wanted your life to look like in a year or five? Once a month, sit down with your partner to discuss your future and what you’re doing to actualize your dreams. You might find creative ways to work together to make them a reality sooner. For example, if you want to save to buy a home, you might start a side business together. 4. Keep Date Night Sacred Life’s demands can come between you and your partner. So can your little ones — as much as you love them, your relationship needs adult time. Keep date night sacred once a week with your partner. You don’t necessarily need to go out if money is tight. Put the kids to bed a little early and have a trivia night, perhaps while sharing a bottle of wine. 5. Learn to Speak Their Love Language Everyone follows one of five principle love languages, and learning your partner’s can help you make them feel more loved. For example, if your spouse craves physical touch, you know to shower them with unexpected hugs and kisses. You can take the quiz together on one of your date nights and share your responses. Get creative! For example, if your spouse appreciates gifts, you don’t have to max out your credit card. Bringing home their favorite snack when you stop at the grocery store shows you care. 6. Hold Hands More Often When was the last time you and your partner held hands in public? If you haven’t done so since your earliest dates, it’s time to reclaim the habit. Holding hands provides a sense of security, helping to quell anxiety. It also prompts your brain to produce oxytocin. This so-called “cuddle chemical” makes you feel more affectionate and has numerous health benefits, like lowering blood pressure. 7. Unplug Now and Then Gadgets are glorious. They make remote work possible and provide healthy and amusing distractions. However, they can also come between you and your partner when you stare at your screens during dinner. Create device-free zones in your home to increase intimacy in your relationship. For example, create a no phones at the table rule. Likewise, keep gadgets out of the bedroom. You’ll find you sleep more soundly without the blue light keeping you awake, and you’ll feel more inspired to snuggle or more without your tablet in hand. Increase Intimacy in Your Relationship Even the healthiest relationships can grow distant with time. If you and your partner no longer feel that spark, you can rekindle the electricity between you. Follow the seven tips above to increase intimacy in your relationship.
Meeting a loved one's family can be an intimidating experience – especially meeting their siblings. These people are their first and longest friends. They know your partner better than you do, and you want to make an excellent first impression. We understand the struggle of meeting your partner's siblings, and we’re here to give you the tips you need to nail that first get-together. Be Yourself This first tip is also the most important. Your partner loves you for who you are and wouldn’t be introducing you to their siblings if they didn’t want them to see the wonderful person you are. The longer you’re in a relationship, the more likely it is you’ll be interacting with your partner’s family regularly. You don’t want to try and keep up a façade, thinking they’ll like you for it.When you’re not worrying about being someone else, you’ll naturally be more relaxed when meeting your partner’s siblings, which they’ll notice and appreciate. Do Your Research Chances are, you’ve heard about your partner’s siblings, especially if they’re close. However, it’s good to know some specifics before meeting them for the first time. Learning about their lives will make you more comfortable bringing up things like their education, hobbies, and jobs. Doing your research and knowing about your partner’s siblings shows them how much you care about getting to know them. Find Things in Common While researching, discover things you have in common with your partner’s siblings. Having hobbies and interests in common will make conversations more manageable and help break the ice between you. Suggest going out for a fun activity together or creating something for the whole family, like cooking dinner together. Alone or part of a big group, spending time with your partner's siblings is a great way to get to know them. It can be as simple as comparing favorite nail salons or as complex as going through the entire “Dune” timeline. These discussions will enable you to form relationships with your partner’s siblings. Similarities between you and your partner’s siblings can also lead to hanging out with them without your partner, strengthening your relationship. Ask Questions Don’t be afraid to ask your partner’s siblings questions about your partner and their family. Asking questions shows that you’re interested in their lives and how you can interact with their family. Ask them about their lives, embarrassing stories about your partner, and how they’re doing. You can learn a lot about your partner’s family by asking questions. Through their responses, you can also feel how comfortable they are with your interaction, helping you guide the rest of the conversation. If your partner’s siblings seem shy or uncomfortable answering questions, you won’t want to engage in a long conversation. Remember – they’re probably just as nervous as you, so you want to treat them the way you hope they’ll treat you. Be Open to New Things Every family has its traditions and preferences that you may not have. It’s essential to keep an open mind and try new things. If you’re meeting your partner’s siblings over a holiday or family reunion, embracing new experiences is especially important. It’s hard to adjust to new foods or activities, but being willing to try new things shows them you’re eager to embrace them for who they are. Your partner came from these things, so they can’t be that bad. Meeting Their Siblings for the First Time Meeting your partner’s siblings for the first time can be overwhelming, but taking a breath and trusting yourself and your partner will make the experience much easier. Getting to know them, being yourself, and embracing their differences can help you form a solid relationship that will last as long as your romance does.
Falling in love is exciting. However, you might find it hard to trust if you’ve been hurt before. If your relationship has already gone through a betrayal, you may need to rebuild. What can you do to develop or restore your sense of faith in your partner? Here are eight relationship intimacy exercises to build trust. 1. Share a Fear You Have Sharing your fears with your partner can help you build confidence that they will boost your courage when you need it. Consider unions where one partner can’t stand cockroaches while the other has a case of arachnophobia. One half can take care of any 6-legged invaders while the other safely rehome the 8-legged variety outdoors. Once you feel secure that you can trust your partner with minor fears, you’ll gain more confidence in sharing deeper concerns. For example, perhaps you worry that you’ll never have enough money for a home or retirement. Maybe the thought of your partner leaving you should you become severely ill keeps you up at night. Confiding these deeper fears in your partner can develop or rebuild significant trust, depending on their response. It takes courage to bare your soul. You want a partner who can comfort your insecurities like they would a crying child and reassure you that you can weather life’s storms together. 2. Write a Letter of Gratitude Gratitude is one of the most positive emotions you can feel. Generating it toward your partner increases trust and strengthens your bond. Think about everything your partner does for you and write a list. If you struggle to get started, think of your daily life together. Do they do half of the chores and pay their share of the bills? Think about how much harder your existence would be without their contribution and express your gratitude in a letter. Everyone likes to feel appreciated for their efforts and taking your partner for granted can gradually erode trust. 3. Practice 3-Minute Eye Contact When was the last time you gazed deeply into your partner’s eyes? Doing so can make you feel surprisingly vulnerable. However, failing to make eye contact could make your partner perceive your words as inauthentic. This exercise can help you tackle difficult conversations without visually cutting off each other. Sit facing each other and set a timer for three minutes. Do nothing but look into each other’s eyes during that time. It’s okay if you crack up — laughing together is part of the fun. Afterward, discuss how the exercise made you each feel. 4. Take Turns Planning Date Night Trust can erode if you think your partner no longer cares. One way to show you’re both invested in your relationship is to take turns planning a date night. Think about what your partner might enjoy. For example, maybe a night of pool and darts at the pub is what they need to blow off steam after a long workweek. You know you have a keeper if they return the thoughtful favor with movie or theater tickets to the show you’ve been dying to see the following week. 5. Create a Vision Board Together If you’re into manifestation, a vision board can be a powerful tool to help you reach your goals. It’s also a delightful mutual arts and crafts project that can help cement your bond. Discussing where you want the two of you to be in a few years confirms the idea that you’re in it together for the long haul. All you need is a piece of poster board, some old magazines, glue and scissors. Decide what’s important to you in the future and cut out visual representations. For example, your board could include cutouts of various barns if you’re saving to buy a country homestead together. Alternatively, you could create a mood board together to communicate ideas. 6. Do a Blindfolded Obstacle Course You’ve seen trust falls. Why not extend that idea a little bit further by doing a full blindfolded obstacle course with your partner? You hide in another room while your partner sets up the course. Then, they blindfold you, leading you around obstacles and giving verbal instructions to keep you from getting hurt. Trade places and repeat with new challenges. 7. Learn Your Partner’s Love Language Part of building trust means learning what makes your partner happy and committing to honoring it. You can discover which of the five love languages they speak and gain insight into what you can do to strengthen your bond. For example, if your partner’s love language is receiving gifts, stopping by to pickup an unexpected bouquet on the way home builds intimacy. If they prefer acts of service, emptying the dishwasher without prompting could strengthen your bond. 8. Play “What If” You might fear approaching your partner with difficult news if you aren’t sure how they’d react. Why not play a “what if” game and discuss how you might respond in various scenarios? For example, ask your partner how they might feel and what they might do if you didn’t call home to check in when you said you would when away on a business trip. You can gradually work up to more challenging scenarios, such as confessed infidelity. Relationship Exercises to Build Trust Trust matters in any relationship, but it doesn’t come naturally. If you’ve been hurt in the past, either by your present or previous partners, it could be challenging to develop faith in your partner. The exercises above will help you feel more secure in your relationship.
Does the following describe you — you desperately want to connect with another person. You crave a relationship so badly, you’ll do anything to keep your partner with you. However, your frantic efforts to maintain closeness ends up pushing the one you love away? If so, you might have an anxious attachment style, one of three insecure attachment styles. While this dynamic forms in early childhood, you can take action as an adult to heal your wounds and adopt a healthier way of relating. Let’s explore the question of what is relationship anxiety and how you can better manage your emotions and become more secure. What Causes an Anxious Attachment Style? Your attachment style begins in earliest childhood. When you are an infant, you rely on your caregivers for everything — food, warmth, security, comfort. If your caregivers respond to your cries in a warm, nurturing manner, you internalize the message that the world is an inherently safe place. You develop a secure attachment. You can handle temporary separations from those you love because you feel confident that they will return with their feelings toward you essentially unchanged. However, sometimes, caregivers aren’t responsive. When this happens, your infant self reacts in one of several ways. Some infants withdraw, avoiding their caregivers even after they return. Others ramp up the volume, pitching a full-blown tantrum until they get the attention and care they need. These children also become fearful that their future efforts to meet their needs will fall on deaf ears. Therefore, they cling to their caregivers, exhibiting extreme anxiety if they disappear for even a few seconds. These cling-wrap behaviors can cause no end of trouble in adult relationships. Psychologists have found an association between anxious attachment and a vulnerable narcissistic personality style. Such individuals tend to exhibit behaviors that push prospective romantic partners away, such as going through their phones or computers for signs of infidelity without cause or demanding a partner spend every minute of every day with them. They ironically bring about the very abandonment they fear. Fortunately, it is possible to overcome an anxious attachment style with therapy and hard work. It also helps to have a trusted individual in your life — although that person can take the form of a professional psychologist. Learning to respect your treatment times and avoiding behaviors such as texting your treatment provider after hours for non-emergency situations is excellent practice for when you’re ready to hit the dating scene again. Tips for Dealing With Relationship Anxiety The sad reality is that not everyone has access to mental health services in the United States. Fortunately, you can discern whether you have an anxious attachment style by taking an online assessment. While it isn’t foolproof, doing so offers valuable insight into how you relate to others. What if you can’t afford therapy but want to keep your relationship anxiety from derailing your current partnership? The following five tips can help keep your fears at bay, calming you and making you feel more secure. 1. Communicate With Your Loved One Your significant other might love you very much — but their affection doesn’t come with psychic powers. Why not do the attachment quiz together and share your results? It’s a simple way to segue into a conversation about your needs. Do a deep dive into your past unsuccessful relationships and take an unflinching look at the role you played in their demise. Did you push your partner away by invading their privacy or placing unrealistic demands on them to account for their time? If so, think about alternative behaviors you can use when something triggers your fear of abandonment — and share them with the one you love. For example, you might say, “When you work too many late nights in a row, I feel concerned that you may have lost feelings for me. Can we schedule some time for us to connect without interruption and discuss your latest project to put my fears to bed?” Notice that you used “I” language and didn’t accuse your partner of infidelity — you expressed a need you had and respectfully asked to have it met. 2. Build a Circle of Friends People with anxious attachment styles are prone to codependent relationships. You might expect your partner to be everything to you and grow resentful when they don’t meet your every need. Building a circle of trusted friends can help interrupt this cycle. When you feel secure that you have other people you can lean on when you feel lonely or anxious, you ease the burden on your partner. Of course, you still want your significant other to be there for you — but not every hour of every day. 3. Learn to Cherish Your Being Alone Many people with anxious attachment styles feel extremely uncomfortable with being alone. Find solo activities that you love so that you begin looking forward to having time to yourself. For example, some people find a regular yoga practice highly therapeutic. Others take solace in reading, hiking or gardening. 4. Establish Regular Check-In Times The convenience of modern communication is both a boon and bust for folks with anxious attachment styles. On one hand, you can connect with your loved one instantaneously, even if they’re on the other side of the world. On the other hand, you can feel your tension levels increase with each passing second they don’t reply to your text. The answer? Pretend you’re on an extended overseas trip and establish regular check-in times — even if you and your significant other live together and only part ways for work and socialization. Knowing that you can expect a text or a call at 8:00 p.m. can help you resist the urge to message them at 7:00 — and 7:05, 7:10, etc. 5. Consider Therapy or Alternatives Ideally, you can enter therapy alone or with a partner — but that isn’t always economically feasible. If you can’t afford traditional treatment, consider one of the modern alternatives. For example, many mental health apps offer real-time texting with trained counselors. You can reach out to these individuals when you feel yourself getting ready to engage in maladaptive behaviors that might push your partner away or simply to get back on your level when you feel anxious. Such applications typically cost a fraction of the price of traditional therapy. What Is Relationship Anxiety? Overcoming an Anxious Attachment Style What is relationship anxiety? If you have an anxious attachment style, you could unwittingly sabotage the love you crave the most. However, by following these tips and seeking treatment, you can form a secure bond with the one you love.
You might have heard the term “separation anxiety” before, but it can be confusing for someone unfamiliar with the different types of anxiety. What is separation anxiety in a relationship? Simply put, it’s a primal fear or distress caused by being away from your partner for an extended period. This phenomenon is signaled by an increase in the hormone cortisol, also known as the stress hormone. When you’re away from someone you love fiercely or are dependent on, you may feel more stressed out and anxious than usual. Many people may notice that children or pets have the same reaction when away from their caretakers. Separation anxiety in a romantic relationship is similar — it’s just felt with your partner instead. What Does Separation Anxiety Mean? If you’re familiar with different cases of anxiety, separation anxiety feels much the same, except that it’s triggered by a person you love being away from you, whether it’s currently happening or just a thought. Separation anxiety is especially prevalent in children, but it can be seen in adults, too — mainly when you rely on a partner in your daily life. In many cases, separation anxiety means that you and your partner are so intertwined that you feel safer with them there. If they leave for a certain period, you might feel like you are missing a piece of yourself. If you’re always around them, especially after potentially working from home over the past couple of years, you may feel like you need to rely on them to stay afloat. This feeling can become painful if they have to leave for a business trip or visit family. Separation anxiety isn’t a good feeling, but it’s manageable if you know the signs and work toward treatment. What Are 3 Signs of Separation Anxiety? What is separation anxiety in a relationship? Many people may not know how to recognize the signs. Feelings of distress shouldn’t feel normal in your relationship, and if you’re feeling these things out of the blue — that is, neither you nor your partner did anything wrong to cause these feelings — then it’s a sure sign of separation anxiety. 1. Physical Distress Physical distress is the most noticeable sign of separation anxiety. General anxiety gives most people nausea or an increased heart rate, which puts them at risk for heart-related issues and events. Most people will start to pick up on their increased heart rate, nausea or stomachaches that often accompany anxiety. 2. Emotional Distress If you experience emotional distress, you might feel intense moments of anxiety — the sick feeling that leaves your stomach feeling twisted. Without your partner, you may also feel helpless, like you can’t do anything or make choices for yourself. A a result, you should also look out for embarrassment — the feeling that comes with feeling helpless or not good enough. 3. Racing Thoughts Pay attention to any thoughts that race through your mind. Often, they result from anxiety and are not grounded in anything concrete. When your mind and body are panicked, though, you may not recognize that they are all fabrications of your brain. Look out for these types of thought distortions: Feelings of something terrible happening to your partner when they’re not with you. Feeling like your partner will forget about you or is better off without you. Feeling like you’re lost without your partner or could be in danger when they aren’t around. Rest assured that these feelings typically emerge from anxiety. They are not rooted in any particular truth unless something recently occurred. Anyone who experiences separation anxiety could have these thoughts. What Is Separation Anxiety in a Relationship’s Purpose? While it can be a good sign to depend on your partner for certain things, it demonstrates a level of dependence that could grow into something unhealthy if left unchecked. What is separation anxiety in a relationship but an indicator of how close you are with someone and how safe you feel in their presence? The challenging part lies in learning to balance dependence and independence. You should feel okay if you are separated from your partner temporarily for any reason. That way, being apart will feel less overwhelming for you and your partner, and you can teach yourself how to function independently, too. How Do You Cure Separation Anxiety? What is separation anxiety in a relationship? It serves as a warning that you may need to learn to be more independent. You can bond with and love your partner intensely without feeling those complicated feelings of anxiety. The goal is to work toward feeling like you’re in a stable, equal relationship. You may try therapy to help you work through the issues. Once you learn the coping skills that allow you to be more independent, you won’t have to rely on your partner for simple things you can do yourself. You may also be asked to try out certain medications or a journal of your feelings. Be open to trying new things. Finding a solution for your separation anxiety will allow you to experience fun things in life without your partner. Then, you can come home and tell them all about it.