How to Know if You Are a Rebound

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Author Name: Beth Rush
Date: Thursday September 10, 2020

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It’s exciting to meet someone new and feel that spark of chemistry. You want to get to know them, go on dates and make memories together while you decide if they’re relationship material. It’s one thing to feel like this, but another for the other person to want the same thing.

Sometimes when you find someone who seems like a good match, they’re not looking for a long-term relationship. They may need a rebound to help them recover from a recent breakup. You shouldn’t waste your time with someone who’s rebounding when you want something serious, but how can you tell if that’s what they want?

Read on to learn how to know if you are a rebound. These factors are common signs that someone’s rebounding and you can move on before you get your heart broken. 

1. They Fell in Love Fast

Everyone wants a storybook moment where they lock eyes with their soulmate and immediately fall in love. It’s the pinnacle of romance, but sometimes immediate bonds aren’t a good thing.

Someone who’s recovering from a breakup may attach to you quickly because they need stability. They don’t know you very well, but they’re already talking about introducing you to their family and friends. If you feel like they’re projecting a relationship onto you faster than it’s developing, they might not really be falling in love.

2. Your Connection Feels Strange

People who want a rebound can either make that relationship seem the most fulfilling or emotionally empty part of their lives. Does your love interest jump at the chance to take your connection to the next level, even if you just met? If it seems too good to be true, it most likely is. Loneliness will make anyone use a rebound to replace what they just lost.

3. You Don’t Know Them Well

No good relationship exists without communication. Getting to know each other depends on using the right communication style and putting in the time to learn about each other. Your partner may not spend much time talking about themselves or their future because that’s not on their mind. It points to a lack of commitment that indicates their rebounding.  

4. They Talk About Their Ex

Sometimes it’s healthy to talk about your ex with a new partner so you can process, heal and move on. It’s not a good sign if your partner only ever talks about their ex or brings them up frequently. They promise they’re over their last relationship, but it’s all they ever focus on. It could be because they have lingering feelings for that person that hold them back from you.

5. You Only Have Sex

Every time you get to see your partner, they only want to get physical and have sex. Rebound sex can be a way to process the psychological effects of a breakup, especially if your partner seems to battle low self-esteem or anger about the situation. Explore the physical side of your new relationship, but be wary if it’s the only thing keeping you two together.

6. They Recently Broke Up

Some people know a breakup is going to happen long before it actually does. Others are completely surprised. Your partner may have faced the shock of a breakup but not had time to process it and heal. Without this time, they might not want to commit to anything other than a rebound, but you don’t have to wait around for this to happen.

7. Their Interest Fluctuates

One day, your partner can’t get enough time with you. They want all your attention and love, whether it’s through texts, phone calls or visiting. Other days, they won’t answer when you reach out or don’t commit to plans. Fluctuating interests sometimes mean they’re afraid of commitment and don’t want to settle down with you.

8. You Always Feel Judged

It isn’t healthy for your partner to always compare you to their ex. You’re not in competition with an ex you’ve never met and shouldn’t have to feel pressured to live up to specific standards to keep your partner’s interests. They may want to change you more than love you because they want someone like their ex. A real romantic interest will love you for who you are, without comparing you to past relationships. 

Take an Emotional Step Back

Sometimes the best way to know if you are a rebound is to take an emotional step back. Ask yourself if your partner does any of these things or makes you feel unimportant. A good relationship will only happen if you’re both over your past and ready for a new commitment.

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