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Most people think that being jealous is an inherently bad thing that signals the doom of a relationship. Depending on how you handle those feelings, that can be true — but it doesn’t have to be. Just because you’re feeling jealous of something or someone else in your partner’s life does not mean you need to end the relationship. In fact, jealousy can be a helpful tool that allows you to understand more about yourself and how comfortable you are in your relationship. Any signs of jealousy you see might point you in the right direction.
Jealousy is the “green little monster” that people often hear about. Jealousy is often misunderstood as envy, though the two are different emotions. Envy is different from jealousy because envy relates to things. Jealousy relates more to a person and anything or anyone you may perceive as “stealing” that person from you. Furthermore, jealousy can tell you so much about how comfortable you are in your relationship.
Though men and women are typically jealous for the same reasons, women more obviously show signs of jealousy because they are typically more aware of their emotions and can communicate and understand them more effectively. Communication is massively important in any relationship, and talking out feelings of jealousy is just one of the many reasons why. People may start to feel jealous if they feel too inadequate for their partner or worry that their relationship is drifting apart. When dealt with healthily, your signs of jealousy can actually improve your relationship.
Unfortunately, jealousy has no one root cause that everyone can cut out of their lives. Jealousy may happen because you have an unhealthy anxiety attachment style, which could relate to a fear of abandonment. Since jealousy isn’t inherently a bad thing, it might be best to step back and see what’s causing it. Look for healthy signs of jealousy in your relationship to learn whether you’re managing it well.
People are so used to hearing how jealousy can negatively affect your life. When left unchecked and untreated, it absolutely can — but jealousy can also be a tool used for good. Here are a few signs that your jealousy is being used to better you as a person and grow your relationship.
The first signs of jealousy usually make you feel left out or unwanted. You start to notice that your partner might be busier or perceive that they don’t want to spend as much time with you. Instead of pushing these feelings down, you need to acknowledge them. Don’t let yourself get too wrapped up in emotions that make you feel bad, but you need to recognize the negative thoughts alongside the positive ones.
Once you put a word to those feelings of loneliness or inadequacy, you’ll be able to attack them. Try to get to the root cause of what is making you feel jealous. Then, you can make a plan to bring it up to your significant other to address it together. Nothing can happen until you acknowledge your feelings of jealousy and refuse to let them fester.
Talking about issues you have is better than bottling them up, which can lead to the deterioration of any relationship, even the strongest romance. The sooner you communicate your feelings to your partner, the sooner you can work toward a solution that satisfies both of you. Try to avoid giving in to accusatory language. Unless it’s truly warranted, it might push your partner further away.
Get to the root of why something is making you jealous in your relationship. It could be the perfect opportunity for you to talk to your significant other about why you feel so vulnerable and insecure in your relationship. Jealousy doesn’t always have to be negative. In this way, it can help you learn more about your relationship. Spend some time talking, just the two of you, about things that make you feel jealous and why those perceptions might be incorrect.
In a relationship, no conflict should be you against your partner. You should work together to solve the problem that keeps you apart or is driving a wedge between you. Many times, you may have to dig deep into your emotions to make a change. You might have to get to know your love languages as partners to understand how to love each other better. All in all, making a change is essential to solving a jealousy issue.
It might feel like homework, but try implementing your changes as a SMART goal. Figure out a specific solution that you and your partner will work toward that will allow you to measure your progress over a selected period. Once you work together on the issue, your relationship will feel stronger, and you may feel more confident about where you stand with your significant other.
When left unchecked, your signs of jealousy could develop into something more dangerous that could threaten your relationship. You want only the best for you and your partner, which means dealing with jealousy before it becomes a severe problem. You may have a reason to be jealous, or it might just be a manifestation of your insecurities. Whatever the case, as long as you’re honest with your partner, you can work through the issue and come out stronger — together.