Like excitement and sadness, anger is a natural emotion people all feel from time to time. However, if you feel angry frequently, mostly over minor issues that don’t necessarily warrant an aggressive response, you may have anger issues.
Discover the signs you should be wary about if you have anger issues and effective strategies for managing intense emotional responses.
Three Types of Anger
Anger is a strong emotion that manifests in three different ways:
Inward Anger
This happens when you’re angry with yourself — you exhibit unkind and unpleasant emotions. Repeating negative thoughts, such as saying you’re incapable and unloved, are signs of inward anger. When this occurs, you punish yourself by denying things you usually enjoy doing, such as eating pizza or playing video games. In severe cases, this can mean denying yourself necessities such as food and sleep.
Outward Anger
This type is commonly associated with anger issues since you channel emotions out of your body. This may include shouting, swearing, throwing things and aggression towards other people, whether physical or verbal.
Outward anger can trigger serious problems if not dealt with. If you’re prone to this emotion, people around you may feel anxious and distance themselves from you. In worse cases, it can cause lasting scars on the people you love the most. It also makes it hard for others to trust you.
Passive Anger
Also known as passive-aggressive behavior, this type entails non-confrontational behaviors. For instance, you might show silent treatment while saying you’re fine or ignore requests from people. This can also show through sarcasm — when a person says something they don’t mean and accompanies it with a tone of voice.
Frequently, passive anger is an acquired behavior — you may have observed your mother showing passive-aggressive behavior to your father. When left unaddressed, this may lead to damaged relationships.
How to Know if You Have Anger Issues?
It’s normal to feel angry about a situation, but it’s essential to realize when you’re crossing the line between what’s acceptable and what’s not. Here are some signs of anger issues:
1. You’re Angry or Irritable Frequently
While it’s a common emotion, it shouldn’t be something you feel regularly. If you experience irritability, annoyance and anger more often than calmness and relaxation, it’s a sign that you have anger management issues.
When you express your ire in hurtful ways, it can negatively impact your physical and mental well-being. The harmful effects can also reverberate to those around you.
2. You Have a Low Tolerance for Minor Inconveniences
Pay attention to how you react to minor issues — this is a critical factor in determining how to know if you have anger issues. If you get furious or upset when others make errors, it might be a sign that you might need help. For instance, if you get angry and turn a cold shoulder because your partner forgot to turn off the television, it might indicate anger issues.
3. People Struggle to Communicate With You
People may feel like walking on eggshells when around someone who has anger issues. Depending on the intensity of the emotion, there’s a possibility that people might struggle to communicate with an angry person. For instance, colleagues may distance themselves out of fear of how the individual might react.
When you notice people are struggling to communicate with you, it may lead to mental issues like anxiety.
4. You’re Hurting Yourself or Others
No degree of anger can ever justify harming yourself or others. If you constantly think about self-harm or hurting people in your life, you’ll need professional guidance. Always putting yourself and other people down is also a sign of anger issues and other complications, such as emotional abuse.
5. You Explode and Display Aggressiveness
One of the most common signs is when you get verbally or physically aggressive towards others. You might explore into rage if someone asks you to do something you don’t like or you might get into a fight when someone bumps into you. To know if you have anger issues, ask yourself these questions:
Do you throw or punch things when you’re angry?
Do you experience a “rage blackout” when something infuriates you?
Do you feel overwhelmed by rage?
Does your anger often cause you to crave alcohol or drugs?
Feeling out-of-control bursts of anger frequently might need intervention.
How to Deal With Anger Issues?
The first step to managing anger is recognizing the signs. Coming to terms with the fact that you might be dealing with this issue is challenging, but there are several strategies you should know if you have anger issues:
Do Relaxation Techniques
Sometimes, your frustrations with the situation at hand compel you to say things you may regret later. Once you feel angry, calm yourself down with any of the following relaxation activities:
Count one to 10.
Monitor your breathing. Breathe through your nose and exhale through your mouth.
When at home, do some yoga or simple stretching.
Repeat a mantra in your head.
Channeling your focus and efforts to something prevents you from saying or doing anything regrettable.
Write Your Thoughts
Instead of channeling your anger towards a person, do it on a piece of paper. Writing is a great way to identify negative thoughts and reframe them into positive ones. Anger doesn’t fix issues, it only exacerbates them — redirecting your rage to a more mindful activity like writing helps pinpoint the causes and possible solutions to your anger.
Let Go of Grudges
Releasing your frustrations and dissatisfaction can help decrease anger and help you find a solution to the problem. Forgiveness is powerful — it helps you and others learn from the situation and strengthen your relationship.
Take a Break
Breaks are not only for moments when you feel tired. Take a timeout during times of the day that are more stressful than usual. Seek time for peace or do something you love to bring your mind into a calm state. That way, you are better prepared to deal with what’s ahead without getting furious or irritated.
Seek Professional Help
If your anger is causing damage to your life and relationships, seek the help of a professional. They may offer anger treatments like therapy, anger management programs and counseling like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), which helps pinpoint the negative thoughts and change them into positive ones.
Overcome Your Anger Issues
Recognizing the signs is the initial step towards managing anger issues. When you implement these strategies and seek professional help when needed, you can overcome anger-related challenges in your life.