Decoding the Complexity of Partnership: A Look Into Different Types of Marriages

Getting married is a significant step for any relationship. It’s a long-term commitment to each other, but the definition of that partnership changes in each relationship. Check out the different types of marriages people enjoy to explore what your relationship could look like. It all depends on what you and your partner need based on personal preferences and beliefs. Why Are There Different Types of Marriages? There are numerous reasons for different types of marriages. Over two million people get married in the U.S. annually and more happen worldwide. They include people from all different cultural and religious backgrounds. Some people might hold to the traditions of their family or community. Sexual preferences and gender identities also change how people define their union. Local laws may influence who can get married, when or how. Everyone and every place is different, so one type of union isn’t going to work for the trillions of people around the world. Examples of Different Types of Marriages Your future or current union doesn’t have to look like one particular relationship structure. Check out the various types of marital arrangements people have. They can all lead to fulfilling, healthy relationships if they make both partners happy. 1. Civil Marriage When you picture two people getting married, you likely imagine them filling out some type of government paperwork to make their union legally official. This is called a civil marriage. The government recognizes two people who have joined a union and may extend special tax or legal privileges based on where the couple lives. 2. Religious Marriage A religious marriage occurs when two people share the same religious beliefs and incorporate them into their wedding ceremony. They may or may not host the ceremony in a religious building but often have their spiritual leader as their officiant. It personalizes the vows and weaves their religion into the foundation of their coupling, which is meaningfully symbolic for those with dedicated spiritual beliefs. 3. Common-Law Marriage The U.S. has a few states that recognize common-law marriages. Couples qualify for this when they have been living together or in a relationship for a number of years specified by their state government. They must also both be of legal age to qualify for legal union and be able to both consent. This arrangement is something people may desire while attending counseling to learn more about each other or saving for their ceremony. It’s also another way for people to get married without either of those experiences.  4. Monogamous Marriage If you picture your union lasting your entire life and never including anyone other than your partner, you favor monogamous wedlock. It’s an arrangement where both partners commit themselves emotionally and physically to each other for life. Many people view this as the standard for long-term partnerships, but other types of marriages make people equally happy. 5. Polyamorous Marriage Someone may be polyamorous when they desire multiple romantic relationships simultaneously. In this arrangement, everyone is aware they’re in a non-monogamous relationship with a minimum of two or more people. It may or may not include non-monogamous sexual activity as well, depending on the partners involved. The married couple might consider themselves primary partners because they know they want to be together long-term. Additionally, they’re both free to form relationships with other partners. Some people prefer the terms primary and secondary to demonstrate which relationships are more committed and which are more laid-back. However, some people don’t use these terms because they believe in polyamory without relationship hierarchy. 6. Ethically Non-Monogamous Marriage You may be an ethically non-monogamous (ENM) person if you daydream about having freedom in your union to flirt and enjoy sexual relations with people outside of your primary partner. Unlike polyamorous people, you don’t want to form relationships. An ENM relationship is an open marriage arrangement where both partners know they’re free to have interests outside of their relationship, but they keep their romantic connections only with each other. It’s best for people who don’t believe in having one partner for their entire lives or haven’t been able to be monogamous for various reasons in past relationships. The key is always ensuring that both partners are comfortable and aware of what the other is doing. If sexual activities become a secret, they may qualify as infidelity and cause the relationship to deteriorate. The partners involved in the union also need to know about the arrangement or if personal boundaries are changing to accommodate the marriage during rocky times. 7. Arranged Marriage Families or parents might arrange a union if they have religious or cultural reasons. It’s a way for parents to feel secure about their adult children's future happiness through the union’s guaranteed financial or social status. It may not happen often in the western parts of the world, but it’s a common form of marriage in South and East Asia. Notably, arranged matrimony isn’t the same as a forced marriage. Forced wedlock happens due to threats or coercion. Arranged couples get together after freely accepting the arrangement or proposal their parents or family recommend. 8. Convenience Marriage A marriage of convenience may or may not involve legal documentation. Sometimes, people agree to an emotional union because staying together benefits them socially or financially. They might stick together to continue splitting the rent or pursuing the same career, such as political ambitions. Those with legal arrangements might do so because they need a legal benefit. Someone might marry a person to gain citizenship faster, benefit from the joint tax filing system or join their health insurance plan. Although some individuals might see these relationships as taking advantage or tricking a system, the two people involved can have good intentions. One person might not be able to receive expensive medical care without their partner’s health insurance coverage. Another may have wanted to marry in the coming years, but their green card expiration date is soon. It all depends on the people involved and what’s happening in their lives. Make Your Relationship What You Want Marriages don’t have the same definitions. There are many types of marriages people create to live their happiest lives. Consider whether these partnerships would feel fulfilling to you and discuss it if you’re currently in a relationship. Everyone who wants to get married deserves a fulfilling union, which could involve personalizing the definition with these options or others.

“I need you.” How many times have you uttered those words to your romantic partner while you cuddled on the couch? Have you ever started to wonder whether your attachment to the one you love benefits or harms your well-being? Can codependency be healthy if it's with your partner? People do need to lean on each other, and every relationship has times when one partner carries the other. However, overreliance on one individual can lead to a dysfunctional power dynamic and even open the door to abuse. Can codependency be healthy, and if so, under what circumstances?  What Is Codependency?  “Honey, can you stop at the store on the way home to pick up milk?” Is this codependency? Most likely, it isn’t — asking for favors is part of the give-and-take of any relationship. Even if you or your partner pays all the bills, that doesn’t necessarily imply an unhealthy balance of power.  The term “codependency” refers to forming and maintaining relationships that are one-sided and emotionally or physically abusive. Maybe your partner continually hurls insults at you, but you remain convinced that if you try harder, you will win their approval. Perhaps they insist that you act and even dress a specific way, and they use threats — including withdrawing love — to keep you in line. Often, this dynamic occurs when one partner struggles with substance abuse or addiction, but the term has come to apply to dysfunction in general. Some people might even see it as "an addiction to love," which can be more harmful than anything else. This dynamic is often learned — people whose parents struggled with codependency tend to adopt the same behaviors and attitudes. This principle explains why so many individuals who grew up in abusive households go on to perpetuate the cycle as adults. They aren’t consciously choosing despair, but they are retreating to the familiar as it lends a sense of security, unhealthy as their unique situation may be. So, can codependency be healthy? First, you have to ensure what's going on is actually codependency at work. What Are the Signs of Codependency? If you are questioning whether codependency exists in your relationship, ask yourself the following questions to determine if you need help: Do you feel free to express yourself around your partner? In healthy relationships, partners have freedom of choice and encourage each other’s growth. In codependent relationships, every interaction becomes guarded because you have to become the person your partner expects you to be. You may feel like you’re “walking on eggshells.” Is your relationship consistent and predictable? Codependent relationships are marked by turbulence and cycles of behavior from good to violent. Healthy relationships, while they may involve disagreements, rarely erupt into fireworks.  Do you feel a need to control or obey your partner? Do you demand to know where your partner is at all times, or do you feel the need to check in with them multiple times daily — maybe to the dismay of your boss? Do you try to restrict the people they associate with, or do you sneak around to see friends behind their backs? Do you engage in behaviors like checking their phone or email without permission? If you notice any of the above behaviors in your relationship, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you are doomed to fail. With the help of the right marriage counselor, you can learn healthier ways to interact with your partner. The critical factor is that both of you need to be willing to put in the effort. You might wonder, "Can codependency be healthy?" The answer is a bit complicated — what you want to attain is interdependency. Can Codependency Be Healthy? What is Interdependency?  Ideally, you want to strive for an interdependent relationship. Unlike in codependent relationships, you don’t look to your partner for your sense of identity. Nor do you desperately cling to the union when it descends into abuse — you set boundaries and enforce them.  Interdependence recognizes the value of vulnerability, and it fosters trust because you open yourself up without compromising your core identity. For example, if you lost your job during a round of layoffs, an interdependent partner will lend you a shoulder to cry on and help out with the bills while you get back on your feet. They’ll encourage you to find something better, and they won’t let you wallow in despair.  A codependent partner, on the other hand, uses vulnerability as a weapon to keep you reliant on them. They might say things like, “You could never make it without me.” Such statements not only make you feel terrible but after a while, you also start to believe those messages. Before you know it, your life becomes all about keeping your partner happy instead of productively addressing your needs. Every thought begins to revolve around keeping them calm and avoiding their verbal jabs.   Making Your Relationship Healthier Can codependency be healthy? Usually not, as you may not have an identity outside of your partner. If you fear you are in a codependent relationship, take the following steps:  Do some soul-searching: Take the time to reflect honestly on your relationship. Do you and your partner work together toward mutual goals? Or is your primary objective pleasing them — or keeping them under your thumb?  Have a heart-to-heart: Sit down with your partner when you both feel calm. Express your concerns and gouge their reactions. It’s natural if they appear taken aback a bit, but the crucial question to ask yourself is, do they express a desire to work on improving your union? Seek outside help: Even if you have the best intentions, codependency is learned behavior often reinforced over a lifetime. It’s challenging to break the cycle independently, so seek a qualified therapist if you have the means to do so. Can Codependency Be Healthy? No, but You Can Lean on Your Partner All relationships entail a degree of give-and-take. However, if your union has become controlling or obsessive, you may have an issue with unhealthy codependency. So, can codependency be healthy? There's a fine line between what's healthy and unhealthy, and you should instead strive for interdependency. Do some soul-searching and take proactive steps to build a more equal partnership.  Updated on May 3, 2024