Unveiling the True Meaning of Love Bombing

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neon lights that say love
Author Name: Beth Rush
Date: Tuesday July 30, 2024

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The meaning of love bombing can initially seem mysterious. At first glance, it almost seems to be about providing a person with as much love as possible. This definition is not exactly far from what the actual action entails, but it only touches the tip of the iceberg.

The Meaning of Love Bombing

Love bombing means showcasing an excessive amount of affection to manipulate a person to get into a relationship. Picture your partner insistently professing their love to you, praising you, giving unnecessary gifts and providing an unhealthy amount of attention.

Being the recipient of a love bombing can sound like such a perk at first. However, being put on a pedestal shouldn’t be a green flag. It can feel like objectification. Not recognizing their humanity and flaws can also diminish the quality of connecting with one another.

There’s no good outcome to lovebombing. Imagine receiving advances and getting completely attached. After a while, they start to lower their efforts and pull away. This sudden shift results in a heartbreaking disconnect that makes you work twice as hard to keep up the relationship.

If your partner doesn’t pull away, you must also exhaust enough emotional energy to match theirs. Affection is a great way to show love, but the added pressure is overwhelming.

An alternative situation to love bombing would be to turn down their advances right from the get-go. Unfortunately, this denial can result in verbal threats and physical violence. 

Where Does Love Bombing Occur?

Love bombing happens in romantic relationships. However, familial and platonic relationships can adopt the same concept of love bombing. For instance, an absent father makes countless efforts to reconnect in a short period suddenly. An acquaintance who treats you to so many gifts and food for your approval can also follow the same pattern.

That said, love bombing commonly occurs in romantic affairs. It usually appears during the talking stage when you’re just getting to know one another. These kinds of relationships are emotionally draining. People with less romantic experience are likelier to have controlling relationships like these. They don’t have previous courtships to compare it to, making it hard to spot such subtle toxicity.

two people talking

How to Spot Love Bombing

A common question after figuring out the meaning of love bombing is how different it is from genuine love. After all, healthy relationships also involve plenty of affection, gift-giving and attention. Here are five key factors to assess to narrow down love bombing. 

1. Timing

The biggest tell behind love bombing is they’re giving the affection. Most actions happen in the blink of an eye to hook that person in at the start of a relationship. Some people rush into relationships to fix unhappiness when that’s not how it works. You need to get to know one another to see whether you’re a good romantic match.

Love bombing can also happen in small spurts during a relationship. The person responsible shows affection after an argument to mend the relationship quickly. They typically won’t resolve the issue or address any aggression shown during the fight.

2. Intention

Intention distinguishes love bombing from genuine love. When they give you affection or gifts, does it feel like they’re waiting for something in return? Seeking validation or attention can often be a sign of this toxic behavior.

Someone who truly loves you will appreciate you thanking them or returning the favor. However, they will likely let you know they only wanted to show affection because they wanted to. There’s no pressure to do the same. 

3. Respect

Some people are uncomfortable when they get over-the-top displays of affection, whether in public or private. Someone who love bombs may disregard your boundaries, playing it off as their genuine way of showing you how much they adore you. 

In a healthy relationship, the other person respects you and what you dislike. They will apologize for any past transgressions that have made you comfortable. They will focus on how to love and support you better instead of getting mad.

4. Isolation

Alone time with your loved one is fruitful for your relationship. However, you still need time with other important people in your life, like family and friends. Alone time is also important to maintain a sense of individuality.

Most partners do not stomp on that freedom. However, relationships with love bombing involve separating you and keeping you for themselves. Isolation cuts off your support system and gives you no breathing space. It also makes you more inclined to be dependent on them.  

5. Intuition

Sometimes, you just have to trust your gut. There are times when love bombing flies under the radar. However, if you ever have moments where you feel uncomfortable or question the relationship, don’t bury those feelings. Take them as a sign to reevaluate your relationship to see whether it’s genuine love. 

sad girl

Saving the Relationship from Love Bombing

Most cases of love bombing are intentional. However, there is a chance the doer is unaware they’re being overly affectionate. Maybe they’re unsure of how much affection they should be showing you. Some may be unconsciously seeking validation and reassurance out of insecurity. 

If you love them and want to continue the relationship, you can save it. You must practice assertive communication with your partner to discuss all your concerns. Lay out what you need from them and hear out their side, too. It can take some work, but you can grow from it together.

Healing from Love Bombing

Some people question whether a relationship is still abusive even if it didn’t involve anything physical. Love bombing actions fall under emotional abuse due to the coercive control in you and your former partner’s dynamic. It can cause plenty of anxiety in the short and long term, even if you break away from them. 

It’s natural to doubt yourself and wonder if you’ll ever find love again. However, you can move on from the relationship and heal. Give yourself time alone to reflect on what happened. Know you were never at fault for anything. When you feel ready, you can find someone new who will treasure you. 

Seek Genuine Love

The meaning of love bombing is challenging to accept. Look at your relationship objectively to see if affection and romance are coming from a healthy place. If they aren’t, break away and get genuine love. You can do it, and you deserve it.

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