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“What are we?” used to seem like a relationship question with only a handful of possible answers. Today, you might be happily monogamous, living apart together, exploring polyamory or letting a new connection develop without rushing to define it.
There’s no single relationship structure that works for everyone. What matters is finding connections that feel right for the people involved. Understanding modern relationship types can give you the language to communicate what you want, set expectations and build relationships on mutual respect and consent.
Before exploring the many names of relationships, it helps to zoom out. Most connections fall into four broad categories, although one relationship can fit more than one.
| Relationship Type | What It Generally Means | Common Examples |
| Romantic | A connection involving romantic attraction, intimacy or partnership | Dating partners, spouses |
| Platonic | A close connection without a romantic component | Friends, queerplatonic partners |
| Familial | Relationships formed through family or chosen-family bonds | Parents, siblings, relatives |
| Professional | Connections formed through work or shared professional goals | Co-workers, mentors |
These categories describe the connection rather than dictate how it should work. Your romantic partner might also be your closest friend, while a platonic co-parent could feel like family.
Romantic relationships now have far more vocabulary than “single” and “taken.” Some modern relationship types describe exclusivity, others describe how partners organize their lives and some intentionally leave room for flexibility. Nontraditional relationship types explore several of these structures, with as much as 31% of Americans participating in these relationship alternatives.
Monogamy usually means two partners agree to romantic and sexual exclusivity, which defines most traditional relationships.
A monogamish relationship remains primarily monogamous but allows some agreed-upon sexual experiences outside the partnership. Those boundaries can look different for each couple. The defining factor is that both partners understand and agree to them.
An open relationship generally allows one or both partners to have sexual connections with other people. Emotional relationships outside the partnership may or may not be included, depending on the couple’s agreement.
Swinging also involves consensual sexual experiences with other people, often alongside a committed partner. The emphasis tends to be on sexual exploration rather than developing additional romantic relationships.
Polyamory involves having or being open to multiple consensual romantic relationships. Within that broad definition are several structures. Hierarchical polyamory gives some relationships greater priority, such as a primary partner who shares a home, finances or major life decisions with you. Nonhierarchical polyamory avoids formally ranking relationships.
With solo polyamory, you may have multiple meaningful relationships while maintaining an independent lifestyle, rather than building your life around a single primary partnership. Polyfidelity refers to a group of three or more partners who agree to be exclusive within the group. A triad or throuple involves three people who are romantically or sexually connected. A “V” differs because one person dates two people who aren’t dating each other.
Relationship anarchy is less a dating format and more a philosophy. Instead of assuming romantic relationships should automatically outrank friendships or other bonds, you define each connection with the people involved.
Autonomy, communication and consent sit at the center. You might use conventional labels or skip them entirely, and relationship anarchy doesn’t automatically mean nonmonogamy, which is why communication is essential.
In a mono-poly relationship, one partner identifies as monogamous while the other practices polyamory. Different preferences don’t automatically make the arrangement incompatible. What matters is whether everyone genuinely agrees to the structure and feels able to discuss boundaries, jealousy, time commitments and changing needs.
Living apart together (LAT) couples have committed romantic relationships while maintaining separate homes. Some choose LAT for independence or personal space. Careers, children, caregiving responsibilities or finances may also influence the decision. Living separately doesn’t automatically say anything about how serious or committed a relationship is.
Not every meaningful relationship revolves around sexual or romantic attraction.
Some non-sexual relationships include:
These are orientations rather than specific relationship structures, and people can build relationships in many different ways.
Some newer dating terms describe how a connection develops rather than the relationship structure itself.
Wildflowering refers to allowing a relationship to grow naturally without immediately assigning a label or timeline. You can enjoy that flexibility while still talking about boundaries and expectations.
The 6-7 dating trend focuses less on chasing instant fireworks or a 10/10 and more on qualities such as emotional security, kindness, reliability and long-term compatibility. Despite the name, the useful idea isn’t literally rating people. It’s recognizing that immediate intensity isn’t the only measure of a promising relationship.
Then there’s tolyamory, a term coined by sex columnist Dan Savage for arrangements where someone tolerates a partner’s outside sexual relationships even though nonmonogamy wouldn’t be their personal preference. There’s an important distinction between freely accepting a compromise and feeling unable to say no. Clear communication helps everyone understand where that line falls.
Other labels describe how you present a relationship rather than what happens within it. A soft-launch relationship, for instance, involves gradually hinting at a relationship online rather than making an immediate public announcement.
Romance isn’t required to build a committed life with someone.
In platonic co-parenting, two or more people intentionally raise a child together without being romantic partners. They might be friends, people who specifically sought a co-parenting arrangement or individuals whose romantic relationship has changed while their parenting partnership continues.
Other platonic life partners may share a home, finances, responsibilities or long-term plans without defining their bond romantically.
Relationship labels give you a useful starting point, but they aren’t universal rulebooks.
| Relationship Type | Usually Sexually Exclusive? | Multiple Romantic Partners? | Defining Feature |
| Monogamy | Yes | No | Mutual exclusivity |
| Monogamish | Mostly | Usually no | Limited sexual flexibility |
| Open relationship | No | Depends | Consensual openness |
| Polyamory | No | Yes | Multiple consensual relationships |
| Solo polyamory | No | Yes | Independence and autonomy |
| Polyfidelity | Within the group | Yes | Exclusivity within a group |
| Relationship anarchy | Depends | Depends | Self-defined connections |
| LAT | Depends | Depends | Separate homes |
People using the same label may set completely different boundaries, which is why the conversation behind the label matters.
Start with what you actually want rather than choosing a label first.
Talk about commitment, sexual and romantic exclusivity, independence, privacy, living arrangements and future plans. Define words such as “casual,” “exclusive” or “open” instead of assuming they mean the same thing to everyone.
You can also change your mind. A relationship structure that fits you now doesn’t have to define every relationship you have in the future.
Sometimes taking space can help you work out what you want. If you’re considering that option, understanding what a relationship cool-off means can help you distinguish intentional space from leaving expectations unclear. It’s usually a two- to four-week period during which you take a break with agreed-upon rules and continued communication.
Above all, keep consent active rather than treating one conversation as permanent permission. Healthy communication leaves room to ask questions, renegotiate boundaries and say when something no longer feels right.
If searching “what type of relationship am I in quiz” brought you here, skip the scorecard mentality. These questions are designed to help you identify what your current relationship looks like — or what you might want it to become.
A. I want one romantic partner, and I want us to be exclusive.
B. I want a primary partnership but could be comfortable with some agreed-upon openness.
C. I’m comfortable having more than one romantic relationship.
D. I don’t want traditional expectations to determine which relationships matter most.
A. Sexual exclusivity feels right for me.
B. Some outside sexual experiences could work within clear boundaries.
C. I’m comfortable with consensual sexual relationships involving multiple partners.
D. It depends entirely on the individual relationship.
A. Sharing a home is part of the future I picture with a partner.
B. I could live with a partner, but it isn’t essential.
C. I prefer maintaining my own home and independence.
D. Living arrangements matter less to me than defining each connection individually.
A. I like having one clearly defined primary partnership.
B. I could have other connections while prioritizing one partner.
C. I’d rather avoid ranking my romantic relationships.
D. I don’t want romance automatically prioritized over friendship or other meaningful bonds.
A. Labels help me feel secure and clear about expectations.
B. I like labels, provided we define what they mean to us.
C. I’m comfortable allowing a connection to develop before naming it.
D. I’d rather define each relationship ourselves than rely on traditional categories.
Mostly A: You may feel most comfortable with monogamy or another clearly defined exclusive partnership.
Predominantly B: Structures such as monogamish relationships, open relationships or hierarchical polyamory may align with your preferences.
Mostly C: You may connect with polyamory, solo polyamory, LAT or other arrangements that leave room for multiple connections or greater independence.
Mostly D: Relationship anarchy, nonhierarchical relationships or highly individualized arrangements may appeal to you.
A mixed result is completely normal. You aren’t required to fit neatly into one category. Use your answers as conversation starters rather than a prescription.
Learning about many different types of relationships might help you discover language for something you already feel, but the label isn’t the relationship itself. You can follow a familiar structure, combine elements from several approaches or decide you don’t need a label at all. What gives a relationship its foundation is much simpler with clear expectations, genuine consent, mutual respect and enough communication to keep choosing what works for everyone involved.
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