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Are you wondering if your relationship is the right one for you? If you are in a slump, you might start daydreaming about greener grass on the other side. However, if your current connection is healthy, maybe you only need to breathe new life.
If you want to know how to change your relationship for the better, here are seven tips to bring back the spark. Chances are, like Dorothy in “The Wizard of Oz,” you’ll discover that there’s no place like the home of your current beau’s arms.
When was the last time you and your SO painted the town red or enjoyed a romantic dinner? Why not bring back date night? If you have children, call a sitter and get out of the house. If your budget is tight, drive back to the scenic overlook where you shared your first kiss. If you have more to spend, go all out and get a spa hotel room for an evening.
How often does your partner lament, “You never listen to me?” If they frequently say it, pay attention. They’re trying to express their needs.
Learn how to improve your listening skills by making eye contact with your partner when they speak instead of staring at your phone. Nod and use interjections — without interruption — to show that you’re paying attention. If you don’t understand what they’re trying to express, ask questions.
How do you and your partner feel about public displays of affection? While you don’t want to act out a scene from a romance novel on a crowded street, holding hands or occasional touches tells the world, “I love this person, and I’m proud to be with them.” It makes your partner feel cherished, and it cements your bond. Who hasn’t looked at an 80-year-old couple strolling along holding hands and thought, “I want that for my relationship someday?”
Where do you see yourself in five years? No, this isn’t a job interview — but you should ask yourself if you can answer the same question about your partner. If you can’t, it’s time to have a heart-to-heart chat.
This advice holds even if you are relatively new in your relationship. The last thing you want as a dedicated urban dweller is to find out the person you fell head-over-heels for won’t feel genuinely happy until they have a farmhouse in the middle of nowhere. Even if you have been married for a while, your partner’s hopes and dreams grow and evolve — make sure you communicate changing goals.
How do you demonstrate that you care? According to Dr. Gary Chapman, five love languages govern how you express affection to your partner — and how you prefer to receive it. You can take an online quiz to develop your type and share your results with your partner. If you discover that acts of service make them tick, you know to delight them with breakfast in bed and an offer to clean up the kitchen afterward. If they prefer physical touch, you know to amp up your spontaneous hugs.
What do you and your partner do in your spare time together? If every Friday starts with a Netflix binge, no wonder your spark lost its fizzle. Why not take up a new couple’s hobby? You’re more likely to stick to an exercise routine if you have a partner, so join a gym or download an app to workout together. If fitness isn’t your thing, explore YouTube. You can learn anything from how to knit a hat to how to play the ukulele.
Finally, if you want to save your relationship, but you have more severe issues to overcome, like infidelity, consider couples counseling. Your therapist will guide you through various activities to help you resolve conflicts with the one you love. A course of treatment can also help you determine the right decision to make going forward if you are considering splitting with your partner.
You can change your relationship for the better — so don’t wander outside the pasture fence. Use these tips to reignite the flame with your current partner and enjoy the romance you deserve.
