The Top 8 Things Couples Fight About
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You and your partner share something special; otherwise, you wouldn’t be together. Maybe you have a ton of things in common or spent decades loving each other. Even though you’d never do anything to hurt your partner, fights can still occur now and then.
Arguments are typical in any relationship, especially when you love each other. You’re more vulnerable and have more at stake when you’ve committed to being with someone. It all adds fuel to fights and makes people wonder if they’re the only couple to lash out at each other over one topic or another.
Read on to discover the top eight things couples fight about and how you can resolve them. Arguments can open doors to healing, but only if you and your partner work together to look for solutions.
Money problems stress everyone out. There might be arguments about whether a purchase was justified or if one person contributes more to savings than the other. No one can get through life without financial stress, but you can avoid arguing about it by being transparent.
Sit down together and budget every month. Track exactly how much you bring in and what you save or spend. Transparency and planning will give you both more control over your money and less reason to worry.
Sometimes you swear your partner forgot to tell you about an upcoming event. Other times, they’re adamant that you don’t listen to them. It all comes back to communication and the styles that are most common between partners.
During your next free afternoon or evening, read about communication styles to listen and respond better in the future. You can also identify your partner’s style based on their history and personality, so you can use that particular style to get your message across more clearly during your next conversation.
You want more romance in your relationship, but your partner already feels like they make enough loving gestures. The fights related to wanting more romance or intimacy most likely stem from not understanding each other’s love languages.
A love language is how you best understand and receive love, so learn which language you speak and what your partner prefers. The key to happiness could be tailoring romance to what you both enjoy, like acts of affection or more quality time.
4. Time Management
Fights over time management problems have different solutions, depending on what the issue is. You may need to sit down with your partner and reorganize your routine based on what’s wasting or consuming the most of your time. It could also be an issue of learning to respect how your partner spends their time, even if it isn’t something you enjoy.
No matter how old your kids are, there will always be something that could start an argument. Maybe you’re up most nights with the baby, prefer that your partner doesn’t buy your kids fast food while they’re in town or want stricter boundaries for your children.
When you feel another parenting argument beginning, bring yourself back to what matters. You both want what’s right for your kids, so respectfully discuss your opinions and find a compromise that fits both of your needs.
Some people don’t feel like their partners prioritize them enough, which is why it’s one of the top things couples fight about. Other times, people don’t appreciate their partners putting a hobby or interest above what needs to happen around the home. Avoid arguments about priorities by leaving emotions behind.
Lay out how you feel and why, without using accusational or inflammatory words so that your partner doesn’t feel attacked. If they understand where you’re coming from, they’ll more willingly find a solution to avoid the same problem in the future.
Political fights are some of the toughest ones to recover from and avoid, especially during election seasons. The best way to keep the peace is to understand that neither of you will change the other person’s mind. Your relationship is more important than any political opinion, so don’t rise to the fight.
Take the high road and sidestep sensitive topics. If your partner wants your genuine opinion or to learn more about your view, leave emotions out of it to keep things from getting personal.
8. Past Arguments
Grudges are powerful things. You may hold onto some past arguments and hurts without even realizing it. Watch yourself during future fights and look for moments where you use or feel like using past examples to hurt your partner. No one can change the past. The point of life is to get better with each passing day.
If a topic comes up that’s a repeat issue, like if your partner has a history of never doing the laundry, you can mention it calmly. State why it bothers you and what they can do to meet you in the middle. Without emotions and accusations, your partner will be more willing to listen and learn.
Remember Why You Love Them
These are some of the top things couples fight about, but you don’t need to look forward to a future of battling your partner over the same topics. Take proactive steps to learn from these situations and avoid them in the future, or diffuse them when they occur. Most importantly, always remember why you love your partner. Your love should always value your partner over winning an argument.
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