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“Honey, can you please take out the trash?” If you’re in an upbeat mood, you probably reply “no problem” with a smile. However, if you feel exhausted after a trying day, this request could make you resentful. If you’re the one doing the asking — for the fifth time — your eyes might narrow as you begin seething.
If you are cohabiting with your partner, a list of household chores can prevent arguments. Better yet, it staves off resentment, which is a poison arrow to the heart of love. Here are some tips for dividing the dirty work.
You know that communication matters in any relationship, but this discussion should prove a snap. Start by writing down a list of household chores, with the one you despise the most at the top and tapering to those you don’t mind as much. Have your partner do the same, and then compare your lists.
For example, maybe you can’t stand washing the dishes because the soap leaves your hands dry and cracked. Your partner, conversely, couldn’t fold a fitted sheet if all the judgemental grannies in the world were coming to inspect your linen closet. Let your spouse tackle the dinner cleanup while you manage the laundry. If you both despise a particular chore, alternate weeks when you add it to the schedule.
If only the two of you share your home, you might stay tidy enough with one weekly cleaning session followed by picking up after yourself on the other six days. However, if you have kids, pets or both, things grow filthy more quickly. Before you know it, the mess threatens to overwhelm you and leave you throwing up your hands.
Making a weekly cleaning schedule helps you keep on top of everything without losing your mind. It also helps to ward off resentment if your partner is more laid back about chores than you are. You won’t feel the urge to nag about tidying up the downstairs bathroom on Monday if you know it’s on your mate’s agenda for Wednesday.
Assign age-appropriate chores and consider using a commission approach instead of a flat allowance. This method involves apportioning a monetary value to each task and paying up each time your kiddo completes one. You not only give them an incentive to pitch in, but you also start teaching them the value that hard work brings financial rewards.
If you have children, it’s nearly never too early to begin teaching them about sharing responsibility. In a family and society at large, everyone has a role to perform.
Therapist
Assign age-appropriate chores and consider using a commission approach instead of a flat allowance. This method involves apportioning a monetary value to each task and paying up each time your kiddo completes one. You not only give them an incentive to pitch in, but you also start teaching them the value that hard work brings financial rewards.
Maybe you have a sizable lawn, and the mowing season arrived before you were ready. However, this year, you discovered there aren’t enough hours in the day to work-from-home, play homeschool teacher and maintain your landscaping. If you have the extra money in your budget, why not hire a professional service for the jobs you don’t have the time — or inclination — to tackle yourself?
You might fall into the trap of feeling guilty about using hired help, especially during an economic downturn. Banish that feeling by reminding yourself that even leaders of industry delegate tasks to achieve their success. You’re saving yourself precious hours that you can put to better use elsewhere, plus, you’re helping to stimulate the economy with each job you create.
If you want to cruise through your list of household chores in record time, why not make it a game? Get to the relaxing part of your weekend faster by racing to see who can complete their assigned tasks first. The loser has to pick up brunch from your favorite local restaurant.
Even though you both have your assignments, don’t overlook the value of teamwork. For example, making the bed can be a bear by yourself. You tuck in one end of the fitted sheet, and the opposite one pops out — argh. An extra set of hands can sometimes make cumbersome activities more manageable.
A list of household chores helps you banish resentment in your relationship — plus, you keep a tidier home. Divide your tasks today to enjoy less stress over everyday household maintenance and get back to the business of loving one another.
