Cheating is never an easy thing to deal with. It sets your mind into a relentless hamster wheel, racing through negative thoughts repeatedly. This is a common experience among the victims of infidelity. Learn how to stop overthinking and some practical strategies to start your healing journey.

Is It Normal to Overthink After Being Cheated On?

Overthinking after your partner cheats on you is a totally normal occurrence. This can happen in any type of betrayal. The sadness, hurt, anger and other negative emotions can lead you to confusion, so it’s natural to react by going over the cheating incident in your head. After all, rumination is a typical emotional trauma response. Some say people are most vulnerable to this at night — the silent environment can trigger compulsions like relieving past situations.

Around 35% of Americans have cheated on their significant other at some point. Being cheated on can change your life in the worst way, leaving you second-guessing yourself. You may start ruminating about what went wrong or resort to self-blame.

Moreover, it can make you question the relationship you once had with your ex-partner. Was it really built on trust and honesty? Was he honest when they said they love you? So many questions can flood your mind, causing you to overthink.

Can You Get Stressed After Your Partner Cheats?

The overwhelm of emotions can cause stress. Many experts call it post-infidelity stress disorder, which is a type of anxiety disorder you may feel after your significant other has cheated on you. When you have an unfaithful partner, it can traumatize you, leaving you unable to do daily tasks. According to Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD, a clinical psychologist specializing in relationship-based issues, infidelity might exacerbate self-issues, such as a fragile sense of self-esteem and pessimism.

Aside from overthinking, some symptoms of post-infidelity stress include:

• Numbness: Some people become numb after experiencing betrayal.
• Avoidance: You might pretend the cheating incident never happened. You may also avoid things and experiences that may remind you of your cheating ex-partner.
• Anxiety: Persistent worrying can lead to anxiety.
• Depression: Lingering feelings of sadness or emptiness are some signs of depression.
• Isolation: You might withdraw from social situations and prefer your own company.
• Trust issues: You may have trouble trusting potential partners after being cheated on.
• Hypervigilance: You may start to look for threats in your next relationships to protect yourself from trauma.

Is Staying After a Cheating Incident a Smart Choice?

There’s no ultimate answer to whether you should stay together or go separate ways. You and your partner will decide if your partnership has enough positive elements to make it worth holding on to. You also need to assess boundaries — ask yourself whether you have an allowance for mistakes or if cheating is your nonnegotiable. Some questions to ask if a relationship with a cheating partner is still worth fighting for include:

• Can you trust them again?: Trust is the foundation of any successful relationship. If you trust each other, you’ll have each other’s backs no matter what. 
• Do you play well together?: If you and your significant other have common interests, values and beliefs, that’s a strong indicator of a partnership worth saving. Remember, it’s still your choice at the end of the day.
• Do you have children?: Kids aren’t the only reason to stay in a relationship, but they can be an excellent reason to stay together.

How to Cope After Being Cheated On

Whether you decide to stay after cheating or not, there are some things you should do to cope with overthinking and other negative emotions.

1. Practice Self-Care

Being cheated on is tough. It challenges you in many ways, even making you second-guess yourself. Practicing self-care is an important part of moving on. It may be one of the last things you have in mind because you’re second-guessing yourself and might feel like you don’t deserve it, but taking time for yourself is mandatory.

Self-care practices clear your head, making it easier for you to tackle challenges. There are many ways to practice it — seek therapy, practice mindfulness, do your hobbies and lose yourself in a good book. This also means spending quality time with people who genuinely care about you. 

2. Get Social Support

While thinking about how to stop overthinking after being cheated on, allow yourself to meet new people. Go out with your family, and friends or take a vacation to see a long-distance relationship. Build strong bonds with your loved ones and people who will listen to your story.

3. Give Yourself Space

Pause your day-to-day activities. You need to give yourself time to heal and break free from your routine. It can be tempting to stalk the third party but do refrain from stalking them. This is not the perfect time to put your FBI skills to the test, as it will only exacerbate your negative emotions.

If possible, uninstall your social media applications. Head out and spend time in nature, which induces calmness, creativity and joy. Set your mind free of thoughts about your cheating partner.

4. Accept What You Must

Stopping overthinking is easier said than done. After all, it’s not your fault that many thoughts are flooding your brain. While you can’t change the fact that your partner cheated on you, you can change how you look at life.

Why not shift your perspective and think you dodged a bullet? Why not take it as an opportunity to find your purpose beyond relationships? There are many ways to accept what just happened so you can move forward in the best way.

5. Stay Active

The aftermath of a cheating incident can make you struggle with insecurities and anxiety, which can take a toll on your overall wellness. Participate in a sport or activity class, such as a yoga class or a new outdoor activity to redirect overthinking thoughts. When you’re busy, you free yourself from things that cause you stress, improving your sleep and concentration.

Break Free

How to stop being cheated on can be challenging, but not impossible. By understanding what makes you worried and overcoming these challenges with the helpful strategies outlined in this article, you can regain control of your emotions.