8 Ways to Handle Debt as a Couple

Debt is a stressor for anyone. Managing it when you’re on your own is challenging, but having a dual-income household doesn’t necessarily make it easier to pay off or deal with. It all comes down to how you and your partner handle debt together.  Discover simple ways to handle debt as a couple to get the financial freedom you deserve. 1. Check Your Debt Regularly Managing debt is much easier when you understand the full picture. Sit down with your partner once a month or every two weeks to check your debts. You should review the outstanding balance and upcoming monthly payments for things like: Student loans Credit card debt Your mortgage Car loans Phone payment plans “Buy now, pay later” short-term debt You might not have thought about how you’d become a partner in debt one day, but teaming up makes debt easier to manage. You and your partner could be among the millennials with an average of $6,521 in credit card debt gathered over the years. That balance won’t seem as daunting if you team up.  The first step in gaining more financial control over your life is understanding what you need to pay each month and when those payments are due. 2. Identify Any Unnecessary Spending Habits Even the most minor spending habits make a difference when you’re trying to handle debt as a couple. Talk with your partner about their most minor purchases, like always getting a soda when they stop to refill their gas tank. Instead of cold-quitting those habits, find better ways to replace them. Maybe you often make late-night purchases online. Instead of deciding to never spend money on any fun thing again, save those digital items for later and review them in the morning. You’ll likely make a smarter decision once you’re wide awake. Remember, any money saved is another dollar that could go toward paying your debt. 3. Have Honest and Non-Judgmental Conversations Sometimes, talking honestly about financial stressors is the most challenging part of learning how to handle debt as a couple. It’s easy for one person to feel attacked or ashamed. Discuss how you and your partner will put your emotions aside when you budget. It should be a safe time to talk about things like if you’re contributing equally to your monthly debt payments. If you feel nervous about asking your partner to help more with your shared financial life, think about the big picture. As partners with dual incomes, it’s reasonable to ask for support — especially if you both agreed to take on certain types of debt to create a life together. You could also think of financial arrangements another way. Courts enforce spousal support when people separate. Judges often look at the differences in their income to determine how to make their finances more fair. If your partner currently makes more than you, asking them to contribute an equal share to your combined day-to-day finances is not unreasonable. 4. Speak With a Financial Advisor Research financial advisors in your hometown. They often schedule complementary meetings to help people create better budgets for long-term financial goals. You could spend an hour talking with an expert about your debt to get advice. A financial advisor will review the exact numbers for your debts, spending habits, expenses, saving accounts and total monthly income. Afterward, they’ll suggest budgetary changes you might not have thought about before. You may start paying off your debt more effectively or save money in specific areas of your life to make more substantial debt payments. 5. Prioritize Your Mental Health Together Finances are stressful. No matter how much debt you and your partner share, focusing on paying off debt can make you anxious. You might feel like you can’t spend money on anything exciting or don’t have any budgetary wiggle room. When your stress starts building, talk with your partner about prioritizing your mental health. See which aspects of your routine you can adjust to create a more stress-free life outside of your budgeting sessions. Poor sleep routines exacerbate anxiety symptoms, so try creating better sleep habits together. You might turn the thermostat down one degree at night or start a rule about not using electronics 30 minutes before bed. No matter which mental health strategies you try, they should make you feel more at ease during your everyday life. You won’t feel the stress of long-term debt management as much if you and your partner support each other’s mental well-being through helpful conversations and lifestyle changes. 6. Look Into Automatic Withdrawals Everyone occasionally forgets financial due dates. Life gets busy, and then you realize you haven’t paid your credit card bill on time. That means you’ll have a slightly bigger interest payment next month, which sets your financial goals back. See which of your lenders offer automatic withdrawals. You’ll never miss a bill if you don’t have to manually pay everything each month. You and your partner in debt could also set up reminders to send each other your halves of each debt payment before those deadlines to automate your financial habits even more. 7. Explore Budget-Friendly Life Hacks Trying a new perspective on some things could help you carve out a few more dollars for your debt payments. Look into different life hacks to see how you can save money. Every penny saved when you’re trying to pay off debt will make you feel like you have more financial freedom. Instead of spending money on costly over-the-counter medications when you get headaches, try diffusing lavender oil. Its natural properties help ease headaches, so you might get the same relief for a fraction of the cost. You could also avoid grocery shopping while hungry or shopping at yard sales instead of online stores. The best changes will directly target the most common ways you spend money. 8. Investigate Refinancing Options Some types of debt are eligible for refinancing. If you have student loans, a mortgage or a car loan, talk with those lenders about refinancing for a lower interest rate. They might agree if you meet their eligibility criteria and if the market currently has lower interest rates than when you took on your initial debt. Even a one-percent difference could knock off a good chunk of your monthly payments, which would create substantial stress relief in the long run. Become Better Partners in Debt Communicating about how you want to handle debt better is the best way to manage your finances with your partner. If you’re able to have casual, honest conversations, you can try new strategies to pay off your debt faster. No matter what works for you, you’ll feel better knowing you both did what was best for your financial and mental well-being.

TL;DR: A cool-off period in a relationship means taking intentional time apart from each other to process emotions and gain perspective to address issues with a clearer mind. While beneficial for many couples, it requires clear communication, defined boundaries and a shared commitment to working through challenges. How long the cool-off lasts varies but typically ranges from a few hours to 2-4 weeks, with agreed-upon rules about communication and expectations. Have you ever sent a hasty “we need to talk" text at 2 AM to start looking for the time machine button that will revert the text 10 minutes later? Perhaps you're in that space where everything your partner says seems to make your blood pressure rival a pressure cooker. When relationships start feeling like you’re one Ross-and-Rachel situation away from disaster, understanding the true cool-off meaning of a relationship can feel like trying to decipher a cryptic message. Taking a strategic pause to cool off lets you step back, take a deep breath and find your balance before moving forward. But what exactly is a cool-off in a relationship? How do you know when it’s needed and, more importantly if it is enough to fix the relationship? What is a Cool-Off Meaning in a Relationship? Cooling off in a relationship means taking a step back and giving both of you space to breathe. Things may feel too heated after an argument or a stressful time, and a little distance helps you clear your head. Instead of diving deeper into frustration, a cooling-off period lets you reflect on what’s going on so you avoid exacerbating disagreements. It’s a chance to slow down, think things through and come back to the conversation when you’re both calmer. Recent research shows that 85% of relationship conflicts are perpetuated by heightened emotional states rather than the actual issues. Instead of diving deeper into frustration, a cooling-off period lets you reflect on what's going on instead of engaging in “conversations” you might regret. The key here is not to use this time to avoid the issue but to give yourself room to process. When you reconnect, you’ll be able to talk things out more clearly and better understand where each of you stands. It’s not about pushing problems under the rug but about hitting pause so you can come back stronger and more in tune with each other. Signs That a Relationship Needs a Cool-Off Sometimes, relationships hit a rough patch where emotions run high. Things just don’t feel as smooth as they used to. It’s normal to experience ups and downs, but it might be time to take a break when things feel particularly tense. A temporary break can give you both the space you need to reflect, refocus and come back with a clearer mindset. Here are some signs that your relationship might benefit from a break: Constant arguments: If you find yourself in frequent disagreements where every conversation seems to spiral into an argument, it could be a sign that emotions are running too high and taking a step back might help. Feeling overwhelmed: If one or both of you are feeling emotionally drained, frustrated or overwhelmed by the relationship, a short break might be what you need. Lack of communication: When the usual flow of communication has broken down and you’re either avoiding each other or not expressing yourselves clearly, some distance can help you reset and approach things with a clearer mind. Resentment buildup: If small issues become more significant and there’s a growing sense of resentment, a cooling-off period can help you reflect on what’s bothering you and how to address it. Need for personal space: If either of you feels like you need more personal space but are afraid to ask for it, this might signal that a break could provide a healthy break to re-establish balance. What to Do During a Cool-Off It’s important to use the time productively during a cool-off rather than just waiting for things to blow over. Here are a few things you can do to make the most of it: Reflect on Your Feelings Take time to think about what’s really bothering you. Are there specific issues that keep coming up, or is something deeper at play? Understanding your emotions can help you communicate more clearly when the time comes. Focus on Yourself Use this time to prioritize your well-being. Whether catching up with friends, engaging in hobbies you enjoy or practicing self-care, taking care of yourself will help you feel more centered and less overwhelmed.  Communicate Boundaries Even though you’re taking a break, it’s important to establish clear boundaries with your partner. Agree on how much contact, if any, is appropriate during the cooling-off period so you both avoid misunderstandings and feel comfortable.  Avoid Making Big Decisions This isn’t the time to make life-changing choices about your relationship. Give yourself the space to think things through calmly before deciding what comes next. Gain Perspective Step outside the immediate situation and try to see things from a broader view. Talking to trusted friends or journaling your thoughts can provide new insights into the dynamics of your relationship. How Do You Give Someone Space Without Losing Them? Here’s how to preserve your connection while on a break: Communicate your intentions clearly: "I need some time to think, but I'm committed to working through this with you." Set specific check-in times: Perhaps a brief text every few days or a weekly call ensures you’re both on the same page. Focus on personal growth: Use the time to work on yourself as well through therapy, journaling or self-improvement. Maintain appropriate boundaries: Avoid snooping through their social media or constantly asking mutual friends for updates. Maintain routine contact: If you live together, be respectful but not wholly distant. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WCir-ro3dR0 Reconnecting After a Cool-Off Period When the cool-off period ends, it’s important to reconnect with intention and openness. This is your chance to return to the relationship with a clearer perspective and a willingness to work through any issues. Start by having an honest conversation about how the break went and what you both learned during the time apart. Be open about your feelings and listen to your partner’s point of view as well. After all, it’s about mutual understanding, not assigning blame. Setting new boundaries or expectations is also a good idea to prevent old issues from resurfacing. This could be anything from how you communicate during disagreements to how you handle personal space. Reconnecting doesn’t mean everything will be perfect right away, but with a refreshed mindset and healthier communication, you’ll have a stronger foundation to move forward together. How Long Should a Cool-Off Last in a Relationship? No two relationships are the same. What works for others may not work for you and vice versa. With that in mind, the duration of a cool-off period is determined by the following factors: Your specific situation. Interpersonal behaviors such as communication styles. Individual characteristics like personality type. Your preferences as a couple. Was the decision was mutual? Regardless, most relationship experts recommend a day or two to process immediate emotions, but a week and over if you aim for deeper reflection and personal growth. However, avoid taking too long, such as over three months, to avoid further disconnection. Longer cool-off meaning in a relationship without clear limits can widen the relationship drift. The general premise is that breaks extending beyond one month without structured communication plans often lead to permanent separation. Is a Cool-Off Enough? Whether the break is adequate or if it’s time to call it quits depends on the underlying issues in your relationship and how you both handle it. A break can be a great way to gain clarity and work through temporary tension, but it’s not a magic fix. If you both come back from the break with a renewed commitment to improve communication, address the issues and grow together, it can be a positive step forward. However, if the same problems resurface or you realize the relationship is causing more harm than good, consider calling it quits. A cool-off can reveal whether the relationship is salvageable or if it’s time to part ways for your well-being. Pay attention to how you feel during the break — if you feel more relieved than connected, it might be a sign that the relationship has run its course. Deciding What’s Next Cooling off can be a powerful tool for resetting and reflecting when things get tough, but it’s not a guaranteed solution. It provides the space to evaluate your feelings, gain perspective and decide if the relationship is worth fighting for. While some couples come back stronger after a cool-off, others may realize it’s time to move on. The key is to approach this time with honesty, self-awareness and an open heart. Originally published October 15, 2024. Updated January 30, 2025.

Chastity has always been a value that has placed plenty of weight on society. While sexual liberation has taken the spotlight in recent years, there are still some people who may be interested in purity culture. Discover the celibacy ring meaning and significance in your journey.  Celibacy Ring Meaning A celibacy ring, also known as a purity ring, is a piece of jewelry that represents a promise to abstain from sex. Keep in mind that celibacy is different from abstinence, as the latter is a little more temporary compared to abstinence.  In the context of purity culture, these two terms are more or less interchangeable. Celibacy rings usually mean abstaining from sex until marriage, which does connote a temporary period. Some people may also treat celibacy as abstinence from other forms of physical touch. What is the Vow of a Celibacy Ring? The vow of a celibacy ring can be different for its wearer. Most people have a religious or sacred conviction behind wearing such jewelry. Here are some examples: Clerical celibacy: Also known as sacerdotal celibacy, this type of vow is reserved for priests and priestesses in various religions. They view the act of celibacy as a sign of ritual purity that helps with their duties of ordination, with the ring serving as a symbol. Monastic celibacy: Monastic celibacy is associated with a monk’s journey to achieving inner freedom. Isolating themselves within nature and avoiding temptations helps advance their moral and spiritual growth in the long run.  Institutional celibacy: Institutional celibacy is also viewed as an act that helps with the spiritual goal of nuns in Christianity. Many view their purity as a commitment to the beliefs and values of their church. What Differentiates Celibacy Ring from Other Jewelry? When you see a piece of jewelry, how can you be sure it’s a celibacy ring and not some other token? Here are the telltale signs that differentiate a celibacy ring from other rings: Ring type: Celibacy rings come in various types, but some styles are more famous than others. For example, a signet ring is ideal for celibacy rings since it has a large space for a crest or inscription.  Inscriptions: Most celibacy rings have an inscription that reminds the wearer of their promise to abstain from sex. Simple phrases such as “True love waits” and “Patience, my beloved” are powerful.  Intentions: A piece of jewelry only holds as much power and weight as you give it. Even the simplest bands can become celibacy rings if they carry the same intentions and promises as the wearer.  Who Can Wear Celibacy Rings? While celibacy itself has religious roots, almost anyone can wear celibacy rings. For some people, they may have a personal goal for themselves to avoid engaging in any sexual acts until they have reached a specific level of romantic commitment like getting engaged or married. Young women have the highest level of celibacy in 2021. Rates were also particularly high for people around 18 to 29 years of age.  Celibacy rings are not exclusive to people who have had zero sexual intercourse in the past. Non-virgins can also wear celibacy rings if they have a commitment to themselves to avoid further engagement in such acts.  What Finger Does a Celibacy Ring Go On? The celibacy ring typically goes on the ring finger on the left-hand side. This is the common placement for an engagement and wedding ring, with some people treating it as a temporary or permanent placeholder. However, you can pretty much place this piece of jewelry on any finger on any finger or hand. What Happens When You Get Engaged or Married? People who practice celibacy may view a relationship’s union as an endpoint. Sex and intimacy must be discussed before marriage, either with just your partner or with a counselor. If you’ve found someone you trust yourself with, you are more than welcome to remove the ring. You can keep the jewelry in your collection or turn it into a necklace or bracelet.  Drawbacks of Celibacy Celibacy can be troubling for some people. Those who prioritize physical touch or experience sexual repression may have an unhealthy relationship with intimacy. However, there’s nothing wrong with engaging in those physical acts as long as you’re practicing them safely. Every person is entitled to their own choices, especially when it comes to their lifestyle and body.   Ways to Maintain Your Celibacy The celibacy ring is an excellent symbol for keeping your purity. However, it’s another story to stay true to your individual commitment. Here are ways to maintain your celibacy. 1. Avoid Your Temptations Maintaining celibacy can be an uphill battle, especially when surrounded by people they are physically attracted to. There’s also the matter of sexual content in media and magazines that makes it hard to ignore. Steer clear of any temptations that could trigger sexual thoughts. You can also try to make peace with those elements to avoid having such urges. 2. Keep Yourself Busy Staying celibate is easier when you’re distracted from sexual thoughts. Find hobbies that you enjoy doing to pass the time. Focus on emotional connection over physical touch if you're in a relationship. You can foster mutual vulnerability by asking one another questions or trying wholesome activities with one another.  3. Find Like-Minded People There will always be dips in your journey, and you must have the emotional support to keep true to your commitment. Friends and family are a great source of strength. You can also look for other circles your age who share your views. They can empower you to stick with your promise. 4. Constantly Revisit Your “Why” Another way to adhere to celibacy is to exercise personal empowerment. Try revisiting the reason you made your promise in the first place. You may want to focus on your growth before settling down with someone or find a person you trust and love first. Get Your Own Celibacy Ring Celibacy is not for everyone, and it’s perfectly reasonable to opt out of it. However, it’s easy to understand and respect a person’s choice to save themselves for marriage. The celibacy ring and its meaning help you start your journey to preserve your purity.

No scientific proof exists that moon phases can identify how you’ll get along with your date or whether that person could be your soulmate. However, the moon’s influence does provide insight into how people’s personalities may gel based on its phases. Who knows? Finding out your moon phase couple compatibility might give you the insider knowledge to face an upcoming date more confidently. What are Moon Phases? Astrologically, the moon has eight phases per lunar cycle, with each representing a stage and lasting for around 3.5 days. You’ll be familiar with some phases, like New Moon and Full Moon, but what about those in between? The eight moon phases are: New Moon Waxing Crescent First Quarter Waxing Gibbous Full Moon Waning Gibbous Last Quarter Waning Crescent You must know these for what’s coming up, as assessing your moon phase and that of your prospective soulmate for couple compatibility depends on them. How to Find Out a Moon Phase Knowing your moon phase will help you determine your compatibility with someone else, but you’ll also need to know theirs. That means you’ll subtly need to ask them their birthdate, including the year they were born. Sometimes, that can be daunting, especially if you ask a lady you’ve just met.  Obviously, it depends on her character type, so gauge this before you ask. If you have a mutual friend, try finding out some information from them first if you’re worried about offending your potential match.  Once you’ve found out the details of the target of your affection, visit one of the many websites that provide moon phase information. Then, individually enter the relevant dates of birth to find out your respective moon phases. Note them both down for future reference. It’s that simple. Moon Phase Couple Compatibility Before looking at how moon phase websites generate couple compatibility based on two dates of birth, you’d be better off knowing how astrologists explain and determine couple compatibility by identifying your moon’s phase.  The premise is that if your moon phase and potential partner’s one fit together to make up a full moon, you’ll be very compatible. The greater the section left incomplete, the less compatible you’ll be as a couple. Alternatively, being born under the same moon phase as another also makes you highly romantically suited for each other.  There’s more that goes into determining full astrological compatibility, like your Venus sign, which identifies your love language, and your seventh-house placement, which delves more into partnerships. Your zodiac sign also plays a role. You’ll find out more about these other astrological compatibility influencers another time. Concentrating on what the moon says about your potential romantic partnerships should be your focal point at this stage.  So, if you’re born under the first-quarter moon phase, you’ll link best with another first-quarter moon phase newborn or somebody born under a third-quarter phase. Likewise, as a new moon baby, meeting your ideal moon phase partner means bumping into somebody with either a new moon or full moon phase birthdate. You call these complete matching phase combinations “twin flames.”  Twin Flames  Astrologers consider twin flames opposite halves of the same soul, with a predestined reunion ahead of them. Even if they don’t acknowledge it, the bond they’ll have is profoundly strong and deep. This bond could be in the form of a romantic or platonic relationship or even an unexplainable connection to somebody you’ve just met.  While astrologers generally anticipate twin flame soulmates between people born under the same moon phase, it also happens between those with matching phases. So, according to the moon, if you’re about to date somebody in the same phase, you’ll possibly be meeting a soulmate in some shape or form. There are potential drawbacks to believing too firmly in twin-flame relationships. Always ensure you approach your belief rationally with your eyes open. Believing too strongly can open you up to relaxing your boundaries, co-dependency issues or being taken advantage of by a manipulative partner. Remember the lessons you’ve learned in life and apply them. What the Moon Says About Personalities Astrology assigns different personality and character traits to each moon phase, so identify your moon phase and gauge how you match up.  New Moon: You’re an explorer by nature and find holding in your emotions difficult. You’re an outgoing go-getter in love with a keen sense of adventure. Waxing Crescent: You’re bold and assertive and say things as you see them. You’ll not shy away from being open with your love and affection. First Quarter: You’re courageous and tend to prefer looking after yourself. You long for a partner who will challenge and motivate you to improve. Waxing Gibbous: You’re an adaptable type who is level-headed and practical. You’re compassionate and understanding as a partner but will be blatantly honest. Full Moon: You’re initially reserved and guarded when meeting new people but passionate in life. You’re immensely devoted and loyal in relationships. Waning Gibbous: You’re comfortable in your skin and logical and grounded in life. You’re an incredible communicator and listener and will admire the right partner unabashedly without judging them for minor faults you observe.  Last Quarter: You’re authentically easy-going and unflustered in life. You’ll love a partner who’ll always try something new but may struggle with commitment. Waning Crescent: You’re passionate and will intensely follow your heart. You aren’t happy feeling vulnerable and would instead leave a relationship than feel boxed in. If you know anybody else’s phase from their birth date, including your upcoming potential better half, read through what the moon tells you about their phase characteristics and draw your conclusions on its accuracy. Establishing Moon Phase Couple Compatibility Online The website you accessed for the individual moon phase information may also have a page where you can see how well you match with your potential soulmate. Otherwise, use your faithful search engine to locate a site that does.  The website asks you to enter both birthdates and then quickly calculates a matching score while explaining how it arrived at its conclusion. Depending on your astrological beliefs and what you’ve gleaned from the personality descriptions, this result could hold a significant bearing for you or practically none at all.  However you receive the result, remember that it comes from a site looking for traffic. You should only use the generated data as a guideline and not despair if the results aren’t what you hoped for.  You Find Your Ideal Mate, Not the Moon  Remember that whatever the moon phases say, your happiness within relationships depends on what you put into them, not what the moon says. You can use moon phases or other astrological methods to guide you in finding that special someone but have faith in your intuition before deciding you’ve found your soulmate.  Be patient and bide your time instead of rushing in. You'll know when the time and person are right, and that should depend entirely on you and not on outside influences. Enjoy the experiences and journey you’re on, and have fun finding out what the moon and its phases predict.

Attachment styles have a profound impact on how we approach relationships, shaping everything from communication to emotional intimacy. Understanding these patterns can be a game-changer, especially when faced with the complexities of dating someone with an attachment style different from your own. Dating someone with a dismissive-avoidant attachment style presents its own challenges. This is what it's like. What is a Dismissive Avoidant Attachment Style? A dismissive avoidant attachment style is one of the four primary attachment styles identified in the attachment theory, alongside secure, anxious and fearful-avoidant. It develops as a defense mechanism — often during childhood — in response to caregivers who were emotionally unavailable, overly critical or dismissive of the child’s emotional needs. As a result, individuals with this attachment style learn to prioritize self-reliance and independence, avoiding vulnerability and deep emotional connections to protect themselves from potential rejection or pain.  In relationships, people with dismissive-avoidant attachment styles often struggle with intimacy. They may appear distant or uninterested in emotional closeness, even with those they care about deeply. Their emphasis on autonomy can lead them to suppress their own emotions and avoid engaging in conversations about feelings, especially when conflicts arise. This can make it difficult for their partners to feel emotionally supported or connected, creating challenges in building a secure and trusting relationship.  While dismissive-avoidant individuals may seem indifferent, their behavior is typically rooted in an underlying fear of vulnerability. They often associate closeness with discomfort or loss of control, leading them to retreat or put up emotional barriers. However, with self-awareness and effort, they can learn to balance their need for independence with the ability to form healthy, fulfilling connections. My Experience Dating a Dismissive-Avoidant When I first noticed these traits in my boyfriend, I didn’t have a label for them. I just thought, “Why are they so distant sometimes?” But once I started learning about the attachment theory, so many things began to make sense. The Early Days of Confusion and Mixed Signals When we first started dating, everything seemed perfect. He was charming, fun and attentive in his own way. But as we grew closer, I started noticing a pattern. Whenever things got emotionally intense — whether good or bad — he would pull away. For example, after a heartfelt conversation about our future, he’d go quiet for a day or two, claiming he was “busy.” At first, I thought I’d done something wrong. I’d replay every conversation, searching for clues. It wasn’t until I stumbled upon an article about attachment styles that I realized it wasn’t about me — it was about his relationship with intimacy. How His Attachment Style Showed Up Over time, I noticed several recurring patterns in my partner’s behavior. While some were subtle, others were more pronounced. Emotional walls: My boyfriend avoided discussing his feelings, even when it was clear he was upset. For example, after a stressful day at work, he’d brush it off with “It’s nothing,” instead of sharing what was on his mind. Avoiding conflict: During disagreements, he’d prefer to disengage rather than confront the issue head-on. If I wanted to discuss a problem, he’d say, “Let’s not make a big deal out of it,” and attempt to change the subject. A focus on independence: He’d often emphasize the importance of maintaining separate lives. While I value independence too, I sometimes felt like he used it as a way to avoid deeper connection. Hot-and-cold behavior: On some days, he’d surprise me with thoughtful gestures, like making my favorite meal or sending me a sweet text. On other days, he seemed distant and hard to reach, leaving me wondering where I stood. These behaviors weren’t malicious, but they were confusing and often left me feeling unsteady.  What I Struggled With Being in this relationship triggered my own attachment style — anxious attachment. I tend to seek closeness and reassurance, which clashes with my partner’s need for distance. This dynamic created a push-and-pull effect that was emotionally exhausting at times. For instance, when he’d withdraw, I’d overcompensate by trying to connect more, often overwhelming him in the process. If he didn’t respond to me quickly enough, I’d spiral into self-doubt, wondering if I’d done something wrong. It was a vicious cycle that left both of us frustrated.  One of the hardest parts was managing my feelings of rejection. Even though I intellectually understood his behavior wasn’t about me, emotionally, it still hurt. I often felt like I was walking a fine line between respecting his boundaries and suppressing my own needs. How I Learned to Adapt Navigating this relationship took a lot of effort, self-reflection and compromise from both of us. Here’s what helped me manage the challenges: Open communication: I had to learn how to express my concerns and needs without sounding accusatory. Instead of saying, “Why are you always so distant?” I’d try, “It would mean a lot to me if we could talk about what’s on your mind.” Framing things this way made it easier for him to engage without feeling pressured. Respecting boundaries: I realized that pushing him to open up before he was ready only backfired. By giving him space and showing patience, he eventually felt safer sharing with me. Therapy and self-reflection: Working with a therapist helped me understand my own attachment triggers. I learned to validate my feelings instead of relying on my partner to do it for me. Focusing on the positive: I made an effort to appreciate the moments when my boyfriend did show love and connection, rather than dwelling on his moments of distance. What I’ve Learned About Love and Growth This relationship has been one of the most challenging and rewarding experiences of my life. I’ve learned that love isn’t about trying to change someone — it’s about meeting them where they are and working together to grow. Through this journey, I’ve developed a deeper understanding of my own emotional needs and how to communicate with them effectively. I’ve also learned that a healthy relationship requires both partners to take responsibility for their own emotional well-being.  For my boyfriend, this meant gradually working on being more emotionally present. For me, it meant practicing self-compassion and learning to find a balance between connection and independence.  Is Dating Someone With a Dismissive-Avoidant Attachment Style Worth It? Dating someone with a dismissive-avoidant attachment style hasn’t been without its challenges, but it’s been an opportunity for growth — both individually and as a couple. It requires patience, open communication and a willingness to adapt, but it also teaches invaluable lessons about love and self-awareness. Every relationship is a unique journey, and while attachment styles can create roadblocks, they don't have to define the relationship.

Online dating is now the new norm. What was once taboo is now a common place to meet potential dates, thanks to the rise of popular dating platforms. Since everyone deserves to find love and connection before the year ends, we’ll help you revolutionize your dating life. Here are the best dating apps to try and tips on how to successfully secure a date. Bumble: Best for Women Who Don’t Mind Making the First Move Bumble has been one of the best free dating apps for years. Ask any of your friends about this app and chances are they’ve tried it at least once. It’s ideal if you aren’t afraid to make the first move. Unlike other dating apps, once you have a match and are interested in the person, you should immediately send a message. If the guy fails to respond within 24 hours, the match expires. It’s not ideal if you seldom open your dating app. The app also allows you to specify information about yourself and your interests. It also has other offers, such as Bumble BFF, which lets you forge new friendships.  Facebook Dating: Most Convenient and Accessible If you’re a huge Facebook user, chances are you’ve been invited to create a Facebook Dating profile. Facebook has over three billion monthly active users, and many of them are searching for potential partners. This dating feature uses the existing data from your profile to connect you with other people for free. There’s no need to worry about getting your dating efforts exposed on your profile — Facebook Dating and your typical Facebook main feed are two separate platforms. The only caveat is it might not be for you if you want to separate your social media life from your dating life.  Hinge: Best for Long-Term Relationship Hinge is “designed to be deleted,” making it ideal for people who want to skip casual meetups and hookups. It has plenty of features that allow you to display and specify your interests and what you’re looking for in a potential partner. It may not be as serious as Match, but it’s ideal for people who want to put effort into their dating life. When creating your profile, you can answer prompts via audio or texts, adding another dimension to your profile compared to other purely photo-based apps. Once you receive a like, you can review them and decide whether to start a conversation or skip liking them. OkCupid: Best for Friendships and Short-Term Dating OkCupid might be the best free dating app, but not necessarily for its features. Setting up your profile here is relatively easier than other apps — via Facebook or email address. Upload photos and fill out sections, such as “What I’m doing now,” “What I value,” and “You should message me if…” The pros of this app are it’s LGBTQ-friendly and users are generally respectful and there are forums where you can share your thoughts about common dating issues. Match: Best for Long-Term Relationships This dating app has a free version, but its perks are best enjoyed with a subscription. It’s worth the splurge if you want a quality long-term relationship. It features robust profiles, providing ample information about someone to gauge whether you want to start a conversation with them. Match also features search filters for better compatibility. Several cons include the cost and potential encounters with people who aren’t ready to commit. Tinder: Best for Casual Dating Tinder has been the go-to dating app for flirty encounters and casual hookups. Almost everyone knows this website and you might have already tried using it, too. Despite its reputation, you can still find a potential long-term relationship here.  Its simplicity makes it a stand-out — swipe left if you’re not interested, and swipe right if you are. The approach may be very superficial — as the profile only requires a few photos and a short bio — but the good thing is that it allows you to verify your profile, helping to prove your legitimacy to other app users. Kippo: Ideal for Gamers Kippo is a dating haven for geeks and gamers. If you love games and are searching for a fellow potential gamer date, this might be the perfect app for you. It has a free and premium edition which comes with a price. It has unique visuals that feel childlike, especially because you need to create an avatar — as if you’re in a game.  Happn: Ideal for Finding Dates in Other Countries Happn matches users with people they have crossed paths with. It’s helpful if you’re looking for potential dates in your area or when you’re traveling. Most importantly, it’s useful if you pass by someone attractive but are too shy to approach and need another opportunity to meet them.  3 Ways to Initiate Conversations to Secure a Date Starting a conversation with a stranger is challenging, whether face-to-face or online. Now that you’ve got a match, it’s time to get them hooked with an interesting conversation. Here’s how to initiate a fun conversation: 1. Ask Open-Ended Questions Look for something interesting in their profile that piques your curiosity. This could be a tattoo on their arm or their travel photo, then ask questions about it. Other conversation-starter ideas to help get you off on the right foot include: What’s your favorite food? What are your hobbies? Do you have any pets? 2. Use Humor Starting the conversation with a joke is a great icebreaker. Share a meme, funny story or a joke that aligns with their interests. Do they like pineapples on pizza? Send a meme about it. It can be a way to see if your paths align or are interested in similar things. 3. Compliment Them Open the conversation with a genuine compliment and follow up with an open-ended question. For example, you can say “I love your fashion sense! Where do you usually buy clothes?” Compliments like these make people feel good and show you’re interested in knowing things about them. Try These Dating Apps Now that you have the list of best dating apps, the search is on! May you find fun dates and — who knows — a potential partner in any of these platforms!

What is vanilla sex? The Urban Dictionary defines it as sex that involves no twists or kinkiness, with no S&M involved. In other words, it’s conventional sex as it was for generations and likely will be for many more, depending on what individuals and sexual partners choose or prefer. The term has unfairly taken on a somewhat negative context as the years roll on.  On seeing a reference to ‘vanilla sex,’ too many people, especially from younger generations, immediately associate it with being boring and tedious. In the same way, if you practice vanilla sex as a rule, you might think of sadomasochism (S&M), for example, as freakish or unnatural. Either way, it’s a matter of perspective, and vanilla sex and sexual categories like S&M both have their places in society. Let’s Talk About (Vanilla) Sex, Baby So you now know vanilla sex is conventional, right? But what is “conventional” these days? The acceptable “conventional” element likely includes more varied bedroom activity nowadays than in the days of yore. As such, the current idea of what “vanilla sex” includes or doesn’t include differs somewhat from decades ago. You might gain a better understanding of this from the answers to some specific questions: Does Being Vanilla Mean Only Having One Partner? At a time? Yes, in most cases. Swinging, threesomes and gang bangs aren’t usually vanilla activities, but again, this is a gray area. If you’re taking vanilla sex in a purely physical context, more than two people can probably engage in conventional penis-in-vagina (PIV) sex in the same room. Yes, swingers swap sexual partners but might only partake in vanilla sexual activities after doing so.  Let’s explore this idea further. A ménage à trois is a committed domestic relationship in which three people live together polyamorously. Does this mean they’re all involved sexually together at once? Not necessarily, but even if it does, and there’s a limit to their level of kinkiness, they could enjoy, by definition, vanilla sex. However, their relationship, in itself, may not be vanilla. Is Vanilla Sex Only the Missionary Position? Not at all, although it might be in some relationships. As long as you’re having sex conventionally, you can do it in many positions in the Kama Sutra and still practice vanilla sex, provided you’re only doing it with a single sexual partner at once, though.  Does Vanilla Involve Oral? It certainly can, but it doesn’t mean it will. A couple living together in a vanilla relationship, meaning the pair exclusively enjoy each other’s sexual company, might indulge in cunnilingus, fellatio, mutual masturbation and other forms of foreplay before or during their sex or lovemaking. People widely accept these activities as part of a vanilla sexual process.  Enjoying your partner’s company in and outside the bedroom improves the foreplay activities you’ll enjoy together in bed. Increasing your non-sexual intimacy will encourage greater levels of sexual connectivity. Learning to speak your partner’s love language is only one way to improve your passion and experimentation between the sheets. Do Vanilla Sexual Partners Watch Porn? You’ll find many do. Watching porn together is more acceptable nowadays than it was during the 70s when the kink community reputedly coined the term ‘vanilla sex’ to describe bland sexual activity. Nowadays, watching ‘normal’ porn as a couple is acceptable as part of foreplay, with many sexual partners using it to explore their sexual horizons and stimulate themselves and each other in the lead-up to further sexual activities. If you’re watching more extreme porn videos, even if you don’t act them out in your sexual activities, you’re likely bordering on losing your vanilla status. If you watch porn alone, this often isn’t regarded as a vanilla sexual activity.  Can Vanilla Include Toys? Yes, in the same way that mutual masturbation is a vanilla sex activity, using dildos or vibrators together as a couple is part of vanilla sexual activity. There is a fine line here, though. As a heterosexual partner, using a sex toy on your partner anally is not viewed as a vanilla activity. Not yet, at any rate. In the same way, a male performing an anal sex act on his female partner goes beyond vanilla sex boundaries. So Anal Sex is Not Vanilla? Anal penetration between heterosexuals isn’t vanilla sex. Still, the natural anal act between a gay couple is regarded as a vanilla activity, just as vaginal sex of any form between a lesbian couple is. Most members of the LGBTQ+ community don’t use the term, however, due to its long-standing negative connotations. When vanilla sex got its name, and for decades after that, gay and lesbian sex didn’t fit into the category. Having multiple simultaneous gay or lesbian partners is still not viewed as vanilla sex. Is Food Play a Vanilla Activity? If you’re involving vanilla ice cream, it will be in a roundabout way! No, using food in your sexual activities, even as a committed couple, you’re crossing vanilla boundaries. Food fetishes, along with the use of ropes, whips, chains, wax and bodily fluids, are not vanilla sex components. In the same way, masochistic and sadistic sexual practices go beyond what is deemed vanilla. Is Being Vanilla Boring? After reading the previous answers, you’ll likely already know the answer. All sex is potentially dull if you do it with the wrong person. If you’re with somebody who you gel with physically, emotionally and intellectually, the sexual act will likely be exhilarating and arousing. It won’t matter whether you involve whips and chains, hot wax or sex toys. Essentially, you can have sex, and you can make love. Suppose you have specific kinks and fetishes and are in bed with a partner for some physical action only. In this case, you’re more likely to find vanilla sex tedious if your partner isn’t responding positively to your more adventurous suggestions.  However, if you’re involved and have an emotional and intellectual bond with a long-term partner, you’ll find that bond extends to compatibility between the sheets. An element of lovemaking exists in your sexual activity, and be it vanilla or not, you’ll enjoy the experience and won’t be boring at all. If you’re still sexually unhappy and turned off in this scenario, you might likely want to schedule some quality time together and rekindle your relationship. More Than Sex: Is Vanilla a Way of Life? You might have already become aware of the distinction made between vanilla sex and a vanilla relationship. Even if you’re practicing S&M or playing with food in every room of your house with a sole committed partner, you’re in a vanilla relationship. Your sexual activity might be anything but vanilla, but you’re happy and content as a couple. You and your partner may not be exclusive. You may swing or sleep with others, with or without permission. If you’re doing this, even if you’re sticking to oral and PIV sex, your relationship is not vanilla. Your sexual activity is, though, and it’s likely not boring.   If you remove any public negative connotations involving the word ‘vanilla,’ you’ll appreciate that there’s nothing wrong with being in a vanilla relationship or practicing vanilla sex. If these are both good, you’re in a position in life that many can only dream of.

Have you ever been with someone and felt immediately turned off by a certain action that they did? For Joanne from “Nobody Wants This,” the disgust was more than evident when her boyfriend Noah went to great lengths during her family's impromptu get-together. The episode was dedicated to showcasing the meaning of getting the ick, as well as how to handle it. What Exactly is the Meaning of Getting the Ick? Getting the ick means you suddenly feel like you lost attraction to someone you’re romantically involved with because of something they did. The result is quite similar to cringing, sudden repulsion and feeling turned off. The ick is also a little different from red flags. Actions like rushing into relationships or taking advantage of your weaknesses are negative experiences that indicate toxic behavior. Some people often use both terms interchangeably, but the ick is more of a pet peeve rather than a legitimate sign of toxicity. The ick could be as silly as your partner eating pineapples on pizza when you dislike it. It is possible that the ick could indicate deeper problems between you and your partner, but it depends on the situation and your dynamic. Breaking Down “Nobody Wants This” Episode 6 “Nobody Wants This” is a wonderful rom-com series on Netflix. It follows the emotional journey of an agnostic sex podcaster and a rabbi getting into a relationship.  The show was renewed for a second season, so there’s so much more to come from the show.   The sixth episode of “Nobody Wants This” is entitled “The Ick.” Kristen Bell’s character Joanne invites Noah, portrayed by Adam Brody, to get to know his sister better. However, with the late announcement of her parents’ arrival, along with the dad’s old boyfriend, Noah suddenly excuses himself to prep himself and get flowers.  It is natural to want to turn on the charm and make a good impression on your girlfriend’s family. However, Joanne dislikes Noah when he shows up with sunflowers with the longest stalks, calls his blazer a “sports coat”, and says “Prego” with a faux Italian accent. She even looks repulsed when he kisses her after those series of actions. Joanne later clarifies that she still likes Noah even after the ick, but she is already contemplating breaking things off since she can’t see putting those actions behind her. Luckily, her boyfriend confronts her freaking out, affirming he just wanted to impress them and recognizing her self-sabotaging by putting those negative perceptions before their relationship. At the end of the episode, the couple realizes they both really like one another and that whatever had given them the ick was small compared to what they have. They even joke about the sports coat and accent at the end of the conversation.  The show’s creator, Erin Foster, talks about her meaning of getting the ick. She notes how women tend to panic when they get into a healthy relationship after a string of toxic partners. Hence, when they see even minuscule flaws, the thought of not liking them anymore and breaking things off becomes more prominent. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjqfn52fffQ Is the Ick Normal in a Long-Term Relationship? Yes, you could get the ick in a long-term relationship and it is normal. Most people usually cringe during the earlier parts such as the talking and courting stage. However, that’s mainly because you’re getting a lot of information about your partner during those periods. In long-term relationships, you know so much about the person you’re dating. However, you could still learn new things about your partner as time goes on. Joanne and Noah have been seeing each other for quite a while before the ick suddenly occurred. The person you’re attracted to may also undergo changes that could manifest into experiences you may not be too much of a fan of later down the line.  Other Examples of the Ick The ick manifests in all sorts of ways. Some people might disagree with your views, as what you’re aversive to might be what people find attractive about others. However, to give you an additional idea of what may be a turn-off, here are a few examples of the ick: Hopping on random online trends: Watching your partner create their green line tests or making one of those lip-sync videos? Doing way too many of the trends can cause such an indescribable distaste from some people. Some people also loathe explaining it to their circle of friends and family.  Believing in star signs: Figuring out whether your star signs match and what your horoscope for the day may seem fun. However, about 51% of Americans don’t believe in astrology. Some people dislike when that’s what people base a relationship’s compatibility and other aspects of life over.  Getting too into sports: It’s natural to be a fan of basketball, football and many other sports. However, some people have a few pet peeves. For instance, they don’t like referring to a sports team as “we” like they are involved in the game. You may also dislike when people wear their jerseys during the off-season.  Getting Over the Ick Now that you know the meaning of getting the ick, it’s time to figure out how to overcome it. Many people, including the main characters of “Nobody Wants This”, assume there’s no moving forward with their partner once they feel sudden disgust. However, it is possible to just get over it and continue the relationship when both people want to make it work. Here are a few steps to consider: Consider a cool-off: A cool-off is ideal if the ick and other small issues start to cause resentment but you feel unsure of what’s specifically bothering you. You get to take a break from those feelings and reassess what specific points are making you feel the way that you do. You also get to evaluate your relationship. Talk with your partner: Joanne and Noah defeated the ick because they communicated their feelings to one another. Try to do the same with your partner and explain why you felt a certain way. If they’re the one they will at least try to understand your feelings.  Laugh about it: Once you and your partner have ironed things out, try to take things easy. You could even joke and laugh about the situation. Making light of the situation shows you are putting your relationship first.  Come to Terms with Getting the Ick Figuring out the meaning of getting the ick can help you stay one step ahead of your surprise disgust. If you’ve already gotten it and you feel uncertain about it next, just know Joanne and Noah decided to still pursue their relationship. Don’t throw away what you have, especially if it’s more important than what you’re aversive to.

From TV shows like “You Me Her” and “L Word” to celebrities openly discussing polyamory, non-traditional relationship types are becoming part of the mainstream conversation. That’s because, in today’s world, the definition of love and partnership has evolved. Classic monogamy isn’t the only option. What Are Non Traditional Relationship Types? Gone are the days when relationships followed a one-size-fits-all approach. Today, you have the freedom to choose from various relationship structures that align with your values, needs and personal growth. Recent surveys indicate that up to 31% of Americans have been consensual participants in non-traditional relationship arrangements, claiming it positively impacted their dating life. Non-traditional relationships challenge the idea that monogamy is the only valid way to connect romantically or emotionally. They allow people to redefine love, commitment and partnership on their own terms, focusing on consent and mutual respect. Here’s a closer look at some of the most recognized types. 1. Polyamory Polyamory: This involves having multiple loving relationships simultaneously, with the knowledge and full consent of everyone involved. Polyamory aims to go beyond romance and physical intimacy —  it allows for deep emotional bonds while expanding the scope of connection and honesty. You might be surprised to learn that polyamory is more common than you think. In fact, 10% of adults would consider themselves open to polyamorous relationships. Top motivators include a stronger sense of community and interpersonal satisfaction. 2. Solo Polyamory Perfect for those who value independence, solo polyamory lets you maintain multiple relationships while keeping your individual life. Solo polys typically do not prioritize one partner above others and often live independently. They avoid traditional commitments like cohabitation or marriage, concentrating on personal growth alongside their connections. 3. Ethical Non-Monogamy (ENM) This umbrella term encompasses various relationship structures in which you can explore connections with multiple partners, so long as you do so openly and honestly.  These open-type relationships let partners seek sexual or emotional experiences outside their primary bond. Unlike polyamory, ENM relationships often focus more on physical connections rather than deep emotional attachments. This dynamic offers freedom while preserving the core commitment between partners. The arrangement thrives on clear communication and boundaries so all parties feel respected and valued. In the U.S., ENM accounts for 5% of intimate or romantic relationships. 4. Throuples A relationship involving three people who are romantically and sexually involved. Unlike a love triangle or open arrangement, a throuple is built on mutual consent and equal involvement, with each member playing an integral role. People in throuples say they get more emotional and practical support as a trio than in a traditional two-person partnership. 5. Swingers Swinging partners engage in consensual, recreational sexual activity with other couples or individuals, typically without romantic involvement, but while maintaining the primary romantic partnership. It emphasizes trust, clear communication and shared boundaries and often takes place within a community of like-minded individuals. 6. Asexual Relationships Asexual individuals experience little to no sexual attraction but often seek romantic, emotional or platonic partnerships. These relationships emphasize deep companionship, shared life goals and emotional intimacy over physical intimacy. 7. Polygamy This is the practice of having multiple spouses simultaneously. While historically rooted in specific cultural or religious traditions, modern polygamy sometimes adopts a more egalitarian structure, with all parties agreeing to the arrangement. Polygamy can provide extensive familial and social support networks, though it comes with legal and societal challenges in many regions. Polygamy can be structured in various ways, each reflecting cultural, religious or personal values. Here are the main types: Polygyny: The most common form of polygamy, where a man has multiple wives. It has been practiced historically in many cultures and religions, such as Islam, some African societies and certain Mormon communities. Polyandry: Involves a woman having multiple husbands. This type is less common and is typically found in specific cultural contexts, such as among the Nyinba people in Nepal or some Tibetan communities. Group marriage: Also communal marriage. This is when multiple men and women are all married to each other. This type of polygamy is rare but exists in some intentional communities or experimental societies. Customary polygamy: In some cultures, polygamy is practiced informally without legal recognition but is deeply rooted in tradition. It often involves cohabitation arrangements and ceremonies outside of official systems. The primary downside lies in the lack of legal protections for spouses, which can lead to financial or inheritance disputes. Religious polygamy: Certain religions permit or even encourage polygamy as part of their doctrine. For example, Islam allows men to have up to four wives under specific conditions, such as the ability to financially support all wives equally. Serial polygamy: This is not traditional polygamy but refers to having multiple spouses over time through divorce and remarriage. It is common in modern societies where marriage laws don't permit having simultaneous spouses. 8. Relationship Anarchy Relationship Anarchy: Relationship anarchy rejects traditional hierarchies like “primary” or “secondary” relationships. Instead, it emphasizes treating every connection — romantic, platonic or familial — with equal importance, allowing individuals to define their relationships without societal labels. 9. Living Apart Together (LAT) Couples in LAT arrangements maintain a committed, exclusive relationship while living in separate homes for personal or practical reasons, like independence or career obligations. This setup provides personal space while preserving intimacy. It’s an increasingly popular choice for older adults and young professionals balancing careers. 10. Platonic Life Partnerships These relationships focus on deep, non-romantic bonds. Partners may live together, co-parent or share finances, redefining what a fulfilling connection looks like. Why Are People Choosing These Relationships? The rise of non-traditional relationships stems from a desire to move beyond restrictive societal norms and embrace a more authentic way of living and loving. Here are a few reasons why these dynamics are gaining traction: Personal growth: These relationships provide a platform to explore your identity, needs and boundaries in a supportive environment. Polyamory encourages introspection and self-awareness as you navigate complex emotional landscapes. Evolving values: Many people no longer see monogamy as the default. Instead, they embrace relationships that align with their personal beliefs and priorities. Increased autonomy: Traditional relationships often come with rigid expectations. Non-traditional setups allow you to design relationships that fit your lifestyle, whether that means pursuing multiple partners or choosing to live apart. Enhanced communication: Non-traditional relationships demand open dialogue about desires, expectations and insecurities. This kind of communication fosters deep trust and emotional intimacy. Breaking stigma: With growing visibility and acceptance, many people feel more comfortable embracing diverse relationship types. Greater awareness: Books, podcasts and social media have normalized discussions around alternative relationship styles, making them more accessible. Mental health benefits: Exploring non-traditional relationships can reduce the pressure to conform to societal norms, fostering a sense of freedom and self-discovery. Making Non-Traditional Relationships Work Success in non-traditional relationships requires specific skills that you'll need to develop and maintain: Exceptional communication abilities. Emotional intelligence. Time management expertise. Conflict resolution skills. Self-awareness. Redefine Love for the Modern Era Non-traditional relationship types challenge old norms and create space for love, connection and authenticity. Whether you’re drawn to polyamory, open relationships or platonic bonds, these dynamics empower you to build connections that feel right for you. As society grows more accepting, the stigma around non-traditional relationships continues to fade. These alternatives aren’t just “different” — they’re often more fulfilling for those who embrace them.

Two years — that’s how long we were “together.” It was a situation where we were more than friends but less than an official couple. It was a tangled mess of inconsistencies, confusion and, ultimately, emotions. They say love can drive you crazy, and boy, were they right. If you’re in the same boat and wondering how to get over a situationship, this one’s for you. What It Feels Like to Be in a Situationship Situationship feels like you’re stuck in limbo. It’s a thrilling phase that gives you all the fun of having a partner but with no strings attached. I initially called that person a casual fling of sorts — we’d go out on dates and travel together, usually incited by a pang of boredom or loneliness while agreeing to leave emotions out of the room.  It was the perfect setup for two people who weren’t ready for a commitment. But as much as we try to ignore it, the reality will always creep in. Drama gets in the way of things, someone ultimately gets hurt, and the whole cycle sucks. I’ve had friends ask about my current situation with that guy, only to find myself constantly answering, “It’s complicated," not because I’m too lazy to explain, but because that’s just how it is. If you were to ask anyone, situationships should not entail “What are we?” conversations, consistency, mentions of the future, feelings and peace of mind. Yet simultaneously, you’re expected to act as if you’re exclusively dating while together.  You’re more than friends but less than a couple. You’re enjoying time together one day, and the next day, you’re not texting one another. It’s a mix of specific emotions and unspoken expectations. Is Situationship a Bad Thing? Not really. While the term has a negative ring to it, let’s be real — not everyone needs or wants a glaring label on their setup, which is ideal if you don’t have the bandwidth to be in a more serious relationship. However, this setup may not be for you if you tend to be anxious and an overthinker like me. As cliche as this may sound, you must know what you want before getting into this arrangement. As much as you’re willing to leave your feelings out the door, there’s no guarantee that they won’t come rushing in. Why Is Getting Over a Situationship So Hard — Even Harder than a Relationship? I decided to end the situationship happening with the guy when I started catching feelings for him. The most painful part about it is there’s no way of anticipating it — it’s like a big wave engulfing you at the most unexpected time. Although our arrangement lacked clarity, it was still a relationship between two people, and it’s important to acknowledge my feelings. But I guess love is not always the answer despite what The Beatles say. I learned to love this man, but we’re not on the same page. I wanted to take “us” to the next level, but he said he had to wait. For what? No one knows. The disconnect was enough for him to cut “us” off.  For some reason, I felt awful about feeling devastated. I struggled to validate my sadness for several reasons: 1. It Blindsides You I never thought my honesty would lead us to a messy ending. The reasons can be straightforward, leaving me with more unanswered questions and romanticizing the what-could-have-beens. 2. You Feel You Don’t Have Rights  Being in a situationship feels like you don’t have the privilege to ask for closure, thinking it’s exclusive to those in a serious relationship. The negative emotions I felt were lingering shame and confusion. 3. You’re In Denial Situationships left me second-guessing everything — from the late-night talks to intimate moments. The possibilities are endless — my previous situationship made me feel like we’re going in the same direction — so I can’t stop ruminating about how someone could let go of that quickly. How to Get Over a Situationship Letting him go while still madly in love with him was the most agonizing moment in my life. Losing him means losing our potential. But chasing him would mean losing my self-respect. Here’s what I did to get over the messy situation: 1. Give Yourself Grace The first step is to accept that your emotions are valid. Rather than feeling guilty for being sad and broken, embrace them and never sweep them under the rug. Give yourself permission to feel these emotions — build an action plan to let go of the past and build on your future. 2. Distance Yourself It’s normal to feel the urge to stalk their socials, send them a text or view their Spotify listening activity to see if he’s feeling as broken as you are. However, acknowledge the fact that it’s hard to heal in the same place where you’ve been hurting. If you are in the same friend group, reduce the frequency of gatherings or interactions.  Setting boundaries can help you keep the person out of your mind and, ultimately, your life. 3. Accept the Relationship for What It Was Many people don’t view situationships as “serious” relationships, so they discount the pain and effort of moving on. Despite the lack of a label, you invested time and energy to be with that person. It’s not like there wasn’t a connection that made you hope for something more. Acknowledging that the absence of labels on your relationship has nothing to do with your sadness is key to moving on. 4. Lean on Your Support System Reach out to friends and family who’ll listen to you. Try to let go of the embarrassment. True friends will listen to you without judgment and help you realize that this person wasn’t all you imagined them to be in your head. 5. Take Things Slow Your past heartbreak may lead to trust issues, creating fear in connecting with others again. When re-entering the dating game, remember to take things slow. Around 50% of Americans said you must wait three months before becoming exclusive. Until then, keep your options open and your heart guarded. 6. Focus on What Makes You Happy Do something that brings you joy, like making plans with a friend, eating out or trying a new sport. Doing these things means you’re not pushing your feelings away but reframing your focus on things that bring you joy.  Love Yourself There’s no deadline for getting over a situationship. You don’t have to do these strategies all at once. There will come a time when you wake up and feel ready to move forward. Many people have gotten through it. You will, too.