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The start of a friendship is always so beautiful and heartwarming. Sometimes, it can even be even more gratifying than a romantic relationship. However, the end of it can bring so much more pain and sadness than you’d think. Dealing with a friendship breakup can be so complicated, but there is meaning to the end.  

Defining a Friendship Breakup

A friendship breakup is the end of a platonic relationship. It usually refers to two friends deciding to call quits on companionship, but there are also instances where a larger group splits up. It’s possible for some members to keep in touch and stay friends, but it’s never really the same. Hence, the end of an era. 

Is it Normal to Have Friendship Breakups?

Friendship breakups are absolutely normal. About 68% of Americans ended a friendship in 2023, while 52% said their companion had broken up with them. They can happen in all kinds of ways, such as:

• No communication: Remember what it’s like to get ghosted on dating apps with people you’re in the talking stage with? Imagine getting the same no-communication treatment from your best friend who you’ve spent years with. You can’t pinpoint why, which almost makes the entire breakup even worse. 

• Drifting apart: Sometimes, friends drift apart from each other. They don’t necessarily mean to stop talking to you, but you get to feel that sudden lack of time and energy being put into your friendship. Soon, you start to get the same instinct to pull away from everything you’ve had together. 

• Verbal breakup: A verbal breakup is one of the most direct ways to end a friendship. One party will outwardly say they don’t want to be buddies anymore. You usually get to sort out what it means for your relationship moving forward, but it doesn’t make the sting of being cut out from their life any less than hurtful.

Why Friendship Breakups Might Be for the Better

Friendship breakups are incredibly hurtful but may be better for you in the long run. It’s hard to believe when you’re fresh from the split. However, here are a few reasons to consider.

Because It May Have Been Bad

People rarely realize that they are in bad friendships. However, looking back, you may notice some of their toxic traits. Whether they were overly critical of you or made everything about themselves, you’ll start to be more introspective about your dynamics.

It’s understandable to want to hold on to someone in your life, especially if you find comfort in their presence. However, if they have mistreated you, it’s much better to just let them go. A bad friend is better off a stranger than a companion. 

Because You’ve Both Grown

One common reason for friendship breakups is that people have outgrown each other. Maybe you grew up as childhood friends, but now you’ve decided to move places. Or perhaps you’ve made a friend at work but decided to resign. 

It’s disheartening for one person to leave one another, whether it’s on good terms or bad terms. However, one of the silver linings is that it goes to show how you and your friend have grown. You’re ready for new experiences and relationships.

Because You’ll Make Stronger Friendships

Friendship breakups mean you get to reflect on some of your decisions throughout your relationship. You can use that experience to make stronger connections with people in the future. It’s also great for strengthening your current ones now. 

For example, your past friendship may have had a problem with needing more time with each other. Now, you can make regular phone calls to relieve lingering anxiety and communicate with one another. 

How to Accept When a Friendship Is Over

Now that the friendship is over, it’s time you contemplate how to accept things. Some people try not to make a big deal about it, but the truth is that it hurts to lose a friend. Here are some tips on handling the friendship breakup.

Allow Yourself to Grieve

No matter what anyone says, someone you cherish is leaving your life. It’s normal to feel a little devastated. Permit yourself to think about that friend of yours. Look back at photos, read back conversations and remember all the good times you shared with that person. 

Whether you’re experiencing intense anger or sadness, just let it all out. You can write your feelings in a journal and reminisce on the past. It’s all part of letting someone and your beautiful friendship go. 

Seek Closure When Possible

Closure will feel like a necessity, especially when you and your friend drifted apart. There are cases when you still desire it after you and your friend cut off communication or verbally break up, but it will feel harder to reach out. However, you can still try. 

For people you’ve drifted apart with, maybe they hadn’t noticed the sudden distance between you or had misinterpreted something you said. During this conversation, you can speak your mind and listen to their side. Forgive them and yourself about how things ended.

Keep Yourself Busy

Healing from a friendship breakup will take time, so keep yourself busy. Find a hobby that you like to do on your own. Create a painting or write out a new story. Watch your favorite shows. If some of these activities remind you of your best friend, know that it’s totally valid. You can wait until you feel comfortable to dive into those hobbies again. 

Respect Each Other’s Space

Unless you or your former friend are moving away, likely, you’ll likely still bump into one another. There are higher chances if you’re in the same clubs and social circles. Respect one another’s space and take a step back if you can. If they were a real confidant, you can trust them to extend the same respect to you. 

Reach out to Other People

Just because you’re no longer buddies with someone doesn’t mean you need to isolate yourself from others. Learn to talk to other people, whether it’s family or other friends. People with close confidants are much less likely to suffer from depression. A counselor would also be ideal to talk to. Be honest about your feelings, but be wary of badmouthing your former friend. 

Heal While Seeing the Silver Lining

While there may be a possibility of reconnecting in the future, you need to learn to accept friendship breakups in the present first. Thank them for the memories and lessons the relationship has given you and take the time to heal and move on.