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Has the novelty of marriage faded for you or your spouse? Whether you’ve just passed the honeymoon phase or been married for several years, there’s bound to be a moment when you no longer experience that exciting spark you felt while dating. At times, you might even feel more like roommates than spouses.
All marriages go through seasons, with some being more exciting than others. Lulls in emotional and physical intimacy and romantic feelings for each other are more normal than you might think.
If you’ve wondered how to revive the spark in your marriage, this article will give you three ways to rekindle love, passion and intimacy.
You might have heard of the five love languages: words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service and receiving gifts. A love language is how one gives and receives love. You and your partner might hold one or more of these love languages.
Let’s say you and your spouse have different love languages. If that’s the case, you might have felt the effects, as it can lead to feelings of emotional unfulfillment and even resentment. For example, if you give and receive love with gifts, you might go all out for birthdays and Christmases. But if this isn’t how your partner receives love, they might not recognize it as an expression of your affection but as something else — like a love for shopping.
Therefore, it’s important to know each other’s love languages. Knowing how you and your spouse receive love will help you understand each other better and express love in a way that’s understood.
Quality time might be neither of your love languages, but it is still important to prioritize spending time together — just the two of you. After all, you married your spouse for a reason — you love them and enjoy their company. Catching up and checking in with your spouse is vital for fostering emotional intimacy and to rekindle love for one another.
To prioritize quality time together, many couples like to have date nights once per week where they dress up in their Saturday-night best and go out like old times. If once per week is too much for your crazy schedule, try once per month. And remember — you don’t have to spend money or go out for date nights if you don’t want to.
For example, if you and your spouse love wine and rom-com movies, cuddle up on the couch together with a bottle of red. Or, maybe you love board games and played Life all the time when you were dating. Find affordable activities you both enjoy, and schedule your dates on a shared calendar, committing to them like an appointment.
Physical touch releases oxytocin, helping you bond with your partner on a deeper level. Physical intimacy can take many forms, including holding hands, cuddling, kissing or having more sex — or all of the above. You don’t need to make grand gestures, either — a simple peck on the cheek as a thank you for making dinner could suffice.
So, the next time you and your spouse are on a date, slip your hand through theirs as you walk down the street. Or, kiss them when you get home from work. Hug them daily. Give them an impromptu back or shoulder massage — especially if their love language is physical touch. Small touches here and there will go a long way.
Ultimately, though, do what works best for your relationship. Don’t feel the need to force physical intimacy. As time goes on, these little touches will start feeling more natural and help rekindle that familiar spark.
Remember, it might not always feel like you and your partner are head over heels in love — and that’s okay. Dips in emotional and physical intimacy are normal.
But, hopefully, implementing these tactics helps you rekindle love, ignite that old flame and remind you of why you fell for one another.